So, I hope to do a monthly check on this, but for this year, I have goals. Small goals.
1. Make a blogger with art stuff on it
2. Start cleaning my computer and phone to prepare for videos
3. Start developing sketches for sketchbook tours
4. Draw more (this one is literally vague on purpose as it’s more of a vibe and not a particular goal. I want to feel like I draw more) and try to be more on theme with the story or try to start a comic or do some pages of sequential art.
5. Update this account more often. (And I mean having at least 52 posts)
6. Find an audience on here.
7. Write and finish my Wattpad story. (😭) I write updates and not writing and editing.
8. I forgot what I was putting here.😂
Here’s some paintings I’ve done recently using two mediums using watercolor and acrylic—two water-based mediums. The one picture in the bottom is a Leonardo da Vinci sketch that I painted over. (Clearly I redrew it bc it’s not as good as the OG.)A sketch by Leonardo da Vinci that I used. I don’t know what it’s named but it’s easy to find online.All unfinished with inconsistencies and various levels of laziness. The one on the top was trying to use the same palette to draw two characters without trying to perfect it. It is Feyondo and Noje. The one on the bottom was supposed to a self portrait of Noshili’s partner Atane but he included Noshili who is looking into the camera and slightly frowning and staring. I doubt I’d finish it because I didn’t draw Noshili well in it. Atane looks slightly bigger because I have to make up for his huge eyes (he is a Najigi), I do not like the gestures of Atane either and probably will restart! 😊
Trust the process. Showing progress pictures of the character Nejame and his jet-black skin.Designing wedding and everyday coats for Adelewe. The left outfit is for Bamy culture and the other is their conversion religion Ne. The outfit is a wedding outfit for their gender.A swimming outfit design for Adelewe (for Bamy culture!)
Mimesis of the artists either means you’re immortal or your livelihood is stolen. in the Renaissance, a human God. A master worthy of being worshipped as if he was more than, A hero.
it doesn’t seem like some people care, to wonder what makes art of the master’s beautiful. Or even what makes it good to them.
Mimesis. Your stuff is worth remixing, Worth putting in an allegorical concepts… Worth remixing and rematching.
Others don’t matter unless they have that.
Could anyone be a master? Or was this destined by a god, deity, evil religious figure. Why do people make Biblicalesque stories and documentaries And people willingly watch them, Feeling some kind of connection.
Why do masters feel fake? As they never existed… How can someone deny a god, but worship the essence of a man they don’t know and never will know and imply a person into them? Am I simply r———, Or did I miss out on something else?
That I’m to study these artists, That there’s an objective truth. That I’m supposed to like these artists no questions asked. That their skills, talents, and whatevers are actual objective truths, instead of opinions from those who hold my soul and other’s souls captive.
I question myself… Why do I care? Imitation is the highest form of flattery.
I like posting my art on here because I don’t have to source. Completely irrelevant to the post, but it’s fine. I don’t care.
but is it possible to go back to the old things, not the good things, the bad?
and reimagine them as the good they once were, the happiness it gave, the sadness it sheltered.
the bad art that was made… can I clear my mind to remember what it once was? it is reasonable to think it is bad because I was told to do better and it moved my heart, causing it to writhe…my eyes glew up with the idea this person wants to help me, they know the bad, they can help me.
But did they? I can’t seem to draw a picture without hearing critiques, never bad, just mindfulness, but never enjoying the task anymore and wanting this perfection.
A teacher cannot teach me perfection, itdoesn’t exist. Yet, it does. It exists as much as race, religion, government, gender, sex, control. It has to exist…but I don’t like it. My liking doesn’t matter, there are important things.
I don’t exist as an individual, I never have. everything but.
I am a product, A statistic, A follower, A mistake, an Idiot.
Never something as my own.
My opinions only ruin people’s days, but rarely change them. I have no influence. I could disappear, and the only thing that would be sad is that I’m dead or hurt, but it doesn’t matter. cry about the issue and not the person.
And when someone becomes my product, my statistic, my follower, another mistake, and another idiot under me…
well, I’ll still be nothing.
Old art from three-four years ago. It feels like looking at a completely different person referencing a different thing and the only reason why it’s terrible because it isn’t abstract enough, realistic enough, finished enough, or enough in general.
I wonder when I dream about someone if that someone sees me in their dream, what’s the point of doing all that dreaming, if it leads to me thinking and remembering those I vowed to forget in my reality.
I question my mind. it is a privilege to remember, but when I want to forget, it all comes back nicely wrapped in a dream.
Never important things, homework, medication, basic self care…
Just faces, bodies, of people who never seem to care about me or remember me.
I just find that upsetting.
It would make sense to leave a writer’s/author’s note. I’ve been looking at some people’s accounts and they do it, but I didn’t know if it was worth it. Is it worth it?
I know it doesn’t look like Lisa Gherardini («Monna Lisa») but it’s her in profile with some interesting clothes on drawn for something else entirelyI cut open some watercolors so I wouldn’t waste them. It was annoyingly messy but here is the result. Color harmony is cool, I guess.Here’s some sketches/watercolor doodles
I’m feeling a bit better, y’all, but I haven’t made anything so y’all will see doodles and progress pics.
Here’s an attempt to draw Noje and design her body shape. The shape is fine, the face is AAAH. Noje has a very pretty body.One of them is eye practice. One character has a face that rarely shows emotion but if he looks angry, it scares his kid but when he’s sad he’s really sad. It’s hard consistently drawing his face…oh well.
Sorry I do not have more, but this is the best I can do right now.
Solisi painted in quickly with ok paper and rushing (this isn’t recent!) you also can also see the pigment colors lol.
Those who know you wonder if you hate them. If you Hated yourself completely. Where was your autonomy? Born to look kissed by the sun, Your skin looked soft. Delicate. You were afraid, but you felt your Family always had your back…
Yet, you turned away. Not out of hate. Not out of embarrassment. You turned for passion and for people to enjoy that passion.
They changed your shell which your soul remained and tried to change your insides—impossible. You, sun baby, are strong even when you turned to the sun. Now there’s two of you. Two souls fighting to stay consciousness. One, a sun baby—the other, the courageous sun.
You are not twins, nor opposites, together as one. One made by their creator—Nini and the other created by the servants of Bamy. Be not confused, be not scared. You live now in complexity. As the complex, courageous sun baby.
I’ll post about this character when I draw the other ones. He’s a celebrity actor and not a main and some of the main characters enjoy the movies he’s in.
I gotta give y’all a heads up. I am a college student that’s getting an visual arts bachelor’s degree. This is an OPINION, not a research article/journal. If I can find “proof,” great. Otherwise, you can just enjoy the writing if it means anything to you.
I can’t say I disagree with most of the points, as I feel neutral about it. But one thing that stuck out to me was the part about having to study realism to have good art?
Tell me y’all, what’s your idea of realism? You probably won’t be wrong, but I’m sure we all will have different opinions on it.
So, what is realism?
Well, realism is when a picture represents reality. It’s simple.
That leads to when a picture is realistic. Commonly when one thinks of realism, they see hyper realism, photo realism, Baroque art, renaissance art, Leonardo da Vinci! Yes, those are realistic, but those aren’t necessarily the same type. In a contemporary art class, I learned the word mimesis—the deliberate copying of the real world. It was a very interesting concept to me because it was never my intention to copy anyone’s art completely. Mimesis, in the book/article we read in class was used to describe copying a picture exactly. The author claims that it is impossible to copy nature exactly and what we are really doing is denotation—which is the literal representation—but that doesn’t mean that we are replicating reality, but in fact, representing it. (This is taken from Reality Remade by Nelson Goodman)
It’s very irritating sitting around and hearing people talk about traditional art like it’s some god send and digital and other forms of art are soulless and trash. Stop. I understand that’s it’s in good faith and you’re stating your connection and you are entitled to your opinion, but sometimes the things you do have repercussions. *Art* has been historically used as many different things, but in the society I’m in and most of Western society, it has been used as a status tool. Frequently, we don’t understand how a lot of art is private and many traditional art is highly expensive and hard to access. It has always been this way, museums weren’t created to show art until the 20th century… Mostly because art in western society isn’t for everyone.
There are art movements that catered towards people but those mostly were brainwash from the church (Renaissance art mostly is control art and highly religious until the 16th century in certain areas) or controlling devices for propaganda. Sure, you got newspaper articles or little advertisements, but you weren’t going to see fine art. Fine art is differentiated from commercial and decorative art by its psychological worth or how it represents all of society (which is stupid to me, but might be cool with you) or just an idea. It is usually very expensive due to the commissioner or the amount of effort put into it.
If there weren’t other forms of seeing art other than the physical reality, many people wouldn’t be artists—yet, people have a lot to talk about what is real art, good art, worthy and so on. It’s not helpful. Can you afford a $100 painting or a $25 print? What about a $1000 painting or a $25 print? Do you not respect an artist’s effort because they did something to you that revoked the soul and your idea of connection? Well, some people do and when it comes to plausibility, anything that sounds plausible could be true. If you tell someone the soul is lost a piece because it’s not in a style or medium you want, they could spread that idea all around the place. Nobody should say traditional art is passé as nobody should say digital art is robot garbage because people believe that and affect someone else. Ideas move and move. Ever consider where your ideas come from?
Yes, digital isn’t material, but a lot of things aren’t. Ideas aren’t material. Happiness isn’t material. The concept of the art object is not material.
I can’t remember if it was in a book or somewhere else, but my professor in a class said that a lot of artists hate studying criticism because a theory could invalidate them.
It’s interesting how many people complain about human nature and the cold, insensitiveness of the internet yet when they hear someone is showing emotions they get cynical and insensitive and tell them to stop feeling so sensitive. I’m sensitive. This whole post is a case of sensitivity. I’m mostly a traditional artist. I don’t do realism, I don’t do abstraction. I don’t have art that sells easily and is easily avoided and I don’t make art for galleries. I am an illustrator to an extent. However, it’s annoying that people don’t like other options and actually look down on them. I can understand lacking a connection; I’ve seen people not care about classical music or other things, but I will draw the line with disrespect.
I don’t care about AI. If I put effort into a piece, I would get upset if someone called it trash because I used what I had.
And oh, don’t get me started on the irritating debate on art styles.
Having opinion is fine, but dang. I have to sit in art classes forced to do realism and academia or no representative non objective abstraction because someone lucky had an opinion that to make a standard and add most people licked their balls and acted like what they said was king and everyone else could kick rocks.
Anyway, thank you for listening to my rant, here’s a picture.
As the day goes on, sometimes it’s very hard to draw so I’ll just show y’all some old pictures.
.
These characters were likely made in 2012. That’s why the art looks like ugly anime artI physically cannot explain this character without feeling pain so ☺️ no explanation When I was younger, I wanted to be a songwriter and animator and animate songs I wrote. I still want to but this was one.Somewhere in 2015(I believe) when I was into witchy clothing and strange anatomy that I thought looked realisticTo be honest, I don’t know who this is but his torso is too smallA character named Mary. I changed her role and design for other characters but she might come back, I just don’t know how to make her come back Flurisha. As you can see.Adelewe back when I used to draw them with a really thin nose. Flurisha again looking dirty for some reason I couldn’t draw babies. This is my art in 2018 or 2019. It’s a joke picture for the character Zan. He’s with his children that have the filler names Ines and Manuel. I’ve recently switched the ages.I have her name somewhere. She’s supposed to be a goddess but she’s worthless as of now. Maybe I’ll use her for something else.She’s supposed to be a goddess of season.Goddess of lightCreator entity or like a demiurge.I don’t know why I gave these characters such dainty bodies. This is Flurisha again. Noticing a pattern?Adelewe and Flurisha (before I changed Flurisha to look different). It’s a joke picture.Flurisha and Adelewe 😑 I plead the fifth.A character Almyleladona. Made in 2018. I messed up her face and erased it.Sketches in 2018I never noticed how bad this was but it’s a character named Ambrosia and she’s designed to look old fashioned (like the 20s) but it didn’t work and it just looks really childish and bad. She’s also supposed to be from a different planet but was sent somewhere else where people are multicolored. She’s a singer. She’s singing a song here that I wrote for her. I have audio somewhere.As you can tell, by the design of the character and features, that they don’t really … they’re missing a lot of stuff and they look strange.
I know that people can look anyway they want and can do anything they want, but this art looks very white even though some of the characters aren’t white. If not, majority of them are Black or some type of Black mixture, however, I’m not sure how much of that is transferable. As well, the anatomy is … very dreadful. I love the character qualities, but if I’m not sure why I drew the characters looking so tiny.
I took a class in college called figure drawing. I’m not sure if it actually helped my art or I learned on my own while using the stuff brought up in class. Couldn’t tell you. The class happened during the pandemic, but my art looks different now.
2018 Almyleladona. She’s based off of the Pict people.An eastern African hair style, I cannot remember the culture or the area who did it. A rushed picture of Noje to draw her body shape and design her painting (came out horrible!)As you can see, it’s Noje. I was trying to see how I wanted her face to look. She’s much darker than this.This is Natale/None. Originally Noje and None were supposed to male and female twins, but I changed it because I felt like it. I don’t know how to draw this face again but I love it.I think this is a character with the filler name Dahlia. She is a Solie. I never drew her again.Naahale with hair down and no jewelry This Zan’s mom. She has the filler name Marcia. I have to upgrade her look but she looks like this.A study for features m. Didn’t like it at the time but it clearly looks unfinished but I didn’t know that at the time.Endive as a human from the 2008 show Chowder. I love the features I drew.Practicing a style and rendering. I really like spiky hair and makeup like this but I can’t do it in real life.A cute picture that looks blurry because I didn’t know and still don’t understand art principles and using references.I don’t know who this is but I was practicing rendering with my new pencils but I didn’t know what I was doing.Don’t know who this is but I was practicing.Taldejan as an egg.Nalati but poorly drawn.The first attempt making Adelewe actually look not Caucasian. I don’t know why they look so childlike.I don’t know who this is. Could be Mary.Noje and earlier attempts with Adelewe. It’s very hard to draw characters with huge eyes.I don’t have this character a name but she sings and like completely different now.… Early picture of Noshili…Don’t know but they’re very pretty …I’ll fill you in. This is the ONLY picture where I drew Noje’s parents Nadine and Nedale. I have not attempted to draw these characters again. They don’t look like that at all when I drew them. At the time, Noje was supposed to be half human but I didn’t keep that. I struggle to draw men and masculine figures so I haven’t attempted it again.😀 As well, I struggled to draw characters from that and at the time really just like drawing Noje.
I really like drawing faces only, but some people don’t find that interesting so I have to keep on drawing over and over until I can get decent anatomy. It really sucks knowing that I draw a lot, but not often and not anything finished. I can cope.
Flurisha is an oc I have and the last one who will be added to this chunk.
Just like Noshili, I will be adding a trigger warning here. If you are rightfully sensitive to child abuse and alcoholism, please do not go further. I will not get mad at you. It’s completely fine.
Hihi, y’all. I forgot to post some sketches! Oops!
A very “interesting” unfinished drawing of a previously mentioned character with the filler name Federico playing his character Dell from a movie. I haven’t got to coloring it.Eyes closedMy right handI saw a person on the internet who had an art meme where they draw their character in different types of ways, I decided to do the opposite hand, eyes closed, and from memory. I got frustrated by the arm length so I erased the arms so she wouldn’t look like a Tyrannosaurus rex.
I ended up drawing full on Noje last night because I needed to draw her body out more. It will not go on her main page because it has lack of arms.
I’m considering doing some more art in hopes that I can draw these characters more because they are lacking! Also, I’m lacking in color studies so I probably need to do those too.
🎶Aha! Yes! We meet again, You stand in front of me, No longer a friend!🎶
🎶Aha! Yes! Why are you here? You wanted to leave, And now you’re back for a jeer!🎶
🎶Aha, my friend, My enemy or love, I didn’t mean to hurt you and act like a bum. These nights of solitude made me come back, I don’t really think I deserve all the flack!🎶
🎶We were once something special and I want it again, And I want that something special and not feel like I deigned. Ah, my lover! You’ve made me to a fool, All I ever wanted was someone like you.🎶
🎶We once were something stressful and it sucked out my soul, I didn’t think I wanted to keep up with this until I was old. I still want to be friends in all of this mess. I still think you’re great and I wish for the best!🎶
Why did you come here and say that to mention?
🎶I came over here for your attention!🎶
🎶Aha! An idiot, a coward, ugh you are so brash! You took my heart and put it in the trash! I’ve sat here and thought it was me all along…🎶
Here are two characters Nejame and Neloni olderLeft to right, up and down: Nejame, Nejame, unfinished picture of None, and Solisi
I wanted to draw at least one picture finished or not of Nejame and Neloni interacting since they are married.
The second one is a picture of Nejame younger (because there’s a storyline of him around the age of 25-30 that I have) to show his hair style and how he holds his face as well as trying to get his proportions right. It is difficult giving older, male characters big eyes or they end up looking feminine and young.
A earlier drawing I did of Nejame
The picture above is cute, but it’s a little flat in the profile section and rendered the picture useless and mildly embarrassing, as well, it’s very difficult for me to render that face so I redrew it. I think the hair looks better on the older one, but the best part about having more than one picture is that you can combine both as a reference.
I’m going to go back to my sketchbook for the three characters I posted about and will redraw them.
I struggled drawing a character so I changed his face and used another character as a reference but I still didn’t do itSketches and a face of a character. All faces aren’t final. If I can’t redraw the character, or reproduce their essence, they change.
I struggle drawing sex-based differences on characters. I don’t know, I don’t like when I’m talking about a character and someone sees them as something else. It’s not their fault, but it’s always fascinating.
My whole platform for my art other than just being my outlet is the idea how interesting it is that we can see a bunch of lines grouped up and associate it with our issues, our stress, our sex, our gender, our race. I’m sure in a different reality (if there is one) my characters exist (not that I want to meet them) but their reality is still in a 2D form.
I sat and made a whole culture and civilization for them with their own gender perceptions and their racial identities, yet, when I show people the art, it means nothing and they bring their own judgment. I try not to let it get to me, but it does. If I draw out particular characters with particular looks—how will they be received.
It’s always fun asking people how they perceive my art. I always ask it because I always want to know how people perceive race, gender, class, so on. A common one is, “what gender do they look? How come?” “What is their personality?” “What do they appear like?” “What is their race?”
I only say this because it fascinates me when I think about racial typing in my head and wandering if I’m representing myself well.
Here’s some drawings from the past few years. How do you perceive them? (I know a lot of lack a lot of visual personality, argh)
I perceive a lot of things differently than they’re supposed to be and it makes it difficult to show content.😩 What do y’all think?
I am feeling quite anxious and overwhelmed with particular unknowns in life and lack of communication:
When ideas meet stress, They become silent. Ideas float in the brain, But they can never escape the mouth or the writing device. There’s so many words one could know, But when do they use them? When was their word choice appropriate? Was it used well? It concerns some.
Do words mean anything? Do you understand other personal languages when people talk? Does one in a two-person relationship yield? Does that one become main translator? It’ll never be clear if one side ever got it.
Trying to tell features by using profiles. (Not fun when you’re rushing.I realized a particular character couldn’t look a particular way because a character looks like this Sketches
Anyways, I’ve been a bit stressed with my school work and other things so I haven’t posted even though I said I was.
Anyway, I’m practicing my skills so I’m thinking about writing a “little story.”
What did you bring to the potluck? 