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artwork Crafting paints

COLORS AND COLORS AND COLORS

Using a more vibrant and warm color palette to design Adis clothes

So, hello there! I got too nervous to draw backgrounds or redesign, so I did some color swatches and this bad boy. I designed some clothes.

And I’m going to post my palettes again so you can see how they look. 😀

I forgot to show all my little studies I did for color environment and I’m posting on my phone in a environment that doesn’t have my art around.

Anyway, I’ve been doing little sketches and paintings as well and have been struggling.

So, I was a bit productive…but eh…but not really.

Have a nice day and stay hydrated and healthy! Talk to you later.☺️

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artwork conculture original characters original content

Here’s a throwback picture!

Zhan and his doll/ancestral sculpture

So, this is a picture made about…hmm…two or so years ago. I don’t know when I drew it…but considering that the style looks long and the character has a big nose, I’d say 2020-2021.

It is a picture of Zhan with an ancestral doll that I haven’t created a name for. It is powered by a button and plays music that sounds like a music box (it kind of is but I don’t know).

It is one of the objects an Adis uses to get to their micosi, i.e. dream-state. They press on the music their familial ancestor crafted for them and they appear. (There are other ways, but this is one I drew out). This one is supposed to mimic a figure—that works like an orisha—to sing to bring comfort. It kinda isn’t a doll but that’s what I called it. I guess it would be a sculpture or a music box. 🤷🏾

Anywho, this specific object is made by a distant ancestor (like a many great grandpa) named Hadorinal who passed it down to everyone else in his family and it got to Zhan after the dad stupidly gifted to his mom (because he liked her) not realizing she’d have his spawn.

In the micosi, Zhan usually reads the books prayed in by other family members (the spirits can be given food, books, so on) or he talks to the ancestor, Hadorinal, who I mentioned earlier. He has the ability to speak Adis (due to his father Lupita) so that’s who he talks to and he will talk to him about everything in his life.

Now, that micosi (I’ve painted the colors but not drawn it to look as is) has a very 2D appearance to it and also the characters rock as if they’re in a video game. The composed ancestral music constantly plays over and over (unless the person is intercultural with a culture with a quiet micosi or one that plays for a short while) and the characters, if able, may dance to it. The backgrounds are usually vibrant and have many shapes and have varieties of realism. Some of the characters, like Zhan, draw in the style of their micosi (albeit, not well, because Zhan cannot draw😂) while others don’t so much.

I probably would redesign the figure so it’s easier to draw and as well, make it look more creative (not the original isn’t, it just needs a different form). I think I may change the size too. [I have a bit more knowledge on designs after seeing some African statues, sculptures, and masks, so I have some ideas!]

Have a nice day and stay healthy and hydrated!

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artwork original content stories?

When?

When? 
“When” is the question,
that many ask when asking for the next best thing
or the end of the worst.

I ask,
When will I be able to draw bodies correctly?
When will I have the courage to attempt bodies,
instead of sitting with my book drawing busts?
When will this fear be over?!
When will I practice anatomy?
When will I complete my conlangs?
When will I put a story together?

These are only in my control.
I control when.

Drawing is not enough. Practicing other things are great, but they’re tiring or embarrassing…extremely embarrassing. It is extremely hard to post content that looks bad as it is extremely hard to take time on a picture that looks like absolute trash. By no means am I trying to achieve perfection, I’m trying to achieve completion or at least do something well enough that I don’t see immediate mistakes when I do it or it doesn’t make me stop too early.

I’ll show you some stuff that has me like that.

S is playing a Jinhi hunter and Damijo is playing the “evil” Jinhi. It’s somewhat early in Damijo’s acting career and he’s a horrible but cute acting character (he can act, he just doesn’t really fit in with the vibe and was placed there for nefarious reasons not of his own doing). Anyway, of the two scenes, a scene before makes S feel really bad for Damijo to the point that instead of drawing his sword (that I poorly drew), he drops it and walks to the Jinhi (again, played by Damijo) and nuzzles him.

S has a reputation of being sarcastic, brave, heroic, and insensitive (because it’s their culture to mimic soullessness or basically lack emotions because emotions are bad to them). Meanwhile, Damijo’s reputation is the opposite. He’s very sensitive, ditzy, silly, and humorous because he looks stupid to people and has a strange sounding voice. S basically feels bad for the in story character and also for Damijo and cracks into his inner suppressed self, Solisi.

S was born in the same small community— Sholi—as Damijo, but instead of being a Jinhi like Damijo, he is a Sol Solio. He, however, had a very different life then Damijo and was raised moderate poverty and lacked a citizenship to Bamygdala. He was scouted out by these people looking for an actor. He fit the idea when he acted, but his appearance and his demeanor was unfit. He is naturally timid, anxious, shy, and very emotional and will cry easily. They worked on him with that, but they also gave S plastic surgery to look more of the idea for Northern Bamy people, they were trying to push and made him bleach his skin and hair.

As sensitive as he is, it gave him an identity crisis and made him slightly dissociate. He sees himself as Solisi as his own, but S wants to take over his body and fight him. S is almost always referred to as the Almighty S, and even Solisi will call him that. Solisi refers to himself as himself and refers to S as someone else even though they share the same body and think similarly but differently. Solisi is very traumatized of all the chaos in his life and that’s one of the many ways he handles it (until he gets therapy).

Anyway, Solisi comes out of S in this scene and decides to not to harm the Jinhi. The director thought it was okay because it promoted a message he wanted. (That it was socially okay for citizens to buy a spouse that’s from one of the indigenous groups nearby.) Though, S’s mindset of doing that wasn’t out of romance. It was more out of frustration.

This one is the older version of the nuzzle. There’s nothing that bad about it but Damijo’s face isn’t the way I want it and S looks too flat, but otherwise, I like the emotions of the older one more. Damijo looks adorable (to me).

Anyway, this was a lot to write. I was a bit hesitant to write it, because it could be spoilers…but you know…👉👈. This comic or even storyline is unlikely to take off at the rate I’m going so I thought it would be more worth my time to just say it and move on and show you my oh so lovely art. (Not sarcasm, I do actually think my art is lovely.)🤷🏾It was nice talking to you. Have a nice day or night and make sure to stay hydrated.☺️

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artwork original characters original content

I drew today!

I know I said I was going to do interaction pictures but I got the dumb idea to color. I mean, coloring is not bad, but I’m not a fan of coloring. I’ve never been a fan of coloring. When I was younger, it used to embarrass me how everyone colored so neatly and I’d color with lines everywhere going everywhere in different directions. As you can see, I still have a lot of that haphazard lines in my work and clearly struggling with hair.

So anyways, just random tidbits about these characters and how I draw them: (I slip up a lot, but it’s a one-man show)

  • Nilili, Neloni, and Noshili always have a side part to the right of their hair and have bangs that are all similar.
  • Neloni and Noshili wear girly and/or feminine clothes. Neloni likes tight clothes and hates certain fabrics and will go into a complete meltdown and take hours to calm down after wearing it. He hates wearing makeup and during his career in acting, he’d wipe his face a lot having to redo shots. He also struggles with nail polish but wears dark blue nail polish (a color his husband likes.) Noshili wears clothes that are considered frumpy and baggy. They will not wear tight clothes because they get uncomfortable seeing their body. They wear any kind of makeup and likes to look facially pretty and will ask Noje to do their makeup.
  • When Noshili has straightened hair, it’s usually a flowing mane, top knot (at home), or a low bun (when out). They always will have a piece of hair that reverts back in the front of their bang.
  • When Noshili’s hair is curly, they always wear it slicked down with their bangs pulled back, bun, or braids. (Because they have very tangly hair.
  • Unlike their brother, their hair shape is an upright triangular like 🔺. They have long, black hair and should always be colored with a yellow or green skin color to contrast the hair. (I color their hair the same color as Noje’s skin. Dark purple.)
  • Neloni is a natural blond. (I didn’t show Nilili’s first husband and Neloni’s dad because I haven’t drawn him, but he carries those genes, but it isn’t a gene that would cause red hair or other types of blond, most light brown hair.)
  • Neloni is always drawn with an oval head.
  • Everyone that shares traits with Neloni and Nilili looks either very stank, sad, or very goofy and dazed.
  • Nilili has jet-black hair but I didn’t draw it that way because 🤷🏾 didn’t know how.
  • Nilili has an internal color of red and shares that color with Neloni because they were close when she was alive. Meanwhile, Noshili has an earth green color.
  • Nilili and Neloni have a gap in their two front teeth, Noshili doesn’t.
  • Neloni and Nilili tilt slightly while listening to people talk and cannot sit still and will move around, rock, and bounce a lot. Noshili jitters and shakes a lot but will sit quietly and probably will sit in the same spot for hours.
  • Nilili and Neloni yell extremely loud when they talk and when theyre speaking in Kwadi, they talk very slow and have a drawl, but speaking in Jinhi, they speak rapidly fast and sometimes people think they’re yelling.
  • They’re also both very ditzy and can be easily swindled and are nice to people, especially family. They got lost easily and are terrified of dogs.
  • All of them enjoy singing. Noshili was taught how to sing by Neloni. Neloni was taught by Nilili.
  • Neloni named Noshili after his older sister that was taken from him at six years old. Noshili looks up to Neloni but is skeptical of his personality and advice.
  • Noshili talks very quietly but if they’re irritated they talk extremely fast and use a lot of expletives and threats.
  • All of them are very tall and bottom heavy. (Neloni is probably 6’5, Nilili is 6’3, and Noshili is 6’2. I’m horrible at catching heights of characters so I struggle.)
  • Nilili made sure her second husband promised to take care of Neloni and his half brother Nstaid when she died.
  • Nilili died on Neloni’s birthday when he was twelve and his father, Neshali died the same day when Neloni was six. Neshali was shot dead in front of him by the military.
  • Neloni nor Noshili do not celebrate their birthday for different reasons and when asked will have different responses. Neloni will get nervous but say something to take off the mood or won’t leave his room and Noshili will start screaming and will try to fight then get in a crying fit and throw up.
  • Neloni screams at the same time every morning and runs somewhere and either dry heaves in the bathroom or hides and cries and stopped it when he turned 60.
  • Noshili is terrified of being alone and in the dark and will cry and latch onto people nearby. If Noshili is yelled at, they will sit either teary-eyed or cry. Neloni will yell back and try to fight. (He hates being yelled at.)
  • Nilili doesn’t cook very well, but her second husband enjoyed her cooking.
  • All of them are attached to their hair and if it gets damaged or cut off, they will mentally shut off or declare enemies with whomever cut their hair.
  • Neloni has been arrested and charged with kidnapping even though he didn’t do it. (😂)

Have a nice day, y’all. Sorry for the filler. I am a hot mess.

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artwork

In all seriousness

Okay, y’all. So, basically, I’m forcing myself out of my funk. As you know from my last blog post written in pure rage. 😬😓 (give me a break, I was reading about stuff to improve my art. Improvement has always been the soul crusher in my life)

I absolutely refuse to write long posts and pages about my concultures. I believe I’d rather like to split them up. It is tedious to write about every single character in a long post only for that post to never be looked at again even if I write about said characters. I have no idea if links work for people! So, I rather just split them up into informationals.

I am trying my hardest to communicate with you all the best way I can, but communication has never been my strong suit. Honesty is great too, but I’m trying to give relevant honesty and not honesty that gets on people’s nerves. I like to pretend I’m a good person, but I doubt I am.

I hate to post more than once per day, but it is what it is. I still have more to post and more to talk about.

Drawing can be rewarding but it’s also something I hide from at times. Sometimes I hide from putting characters out here. I mean, they are as they are.

Anyway, it was nice talking to you. Happy End of February. See you. Make sure to get good rest and stay hydrated and healthy.

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about me artwork rants

Burn out

A flame was lit, 
it was lit with a match.
Lit so it could keep the group warm.
But it was short-lived.

The flame couldn’t keep the two warm,
and since it couldn’t, the group froze.
They didn’t know what to do anymore.

I don’t know really what to say…I received the big ol burnout. Always at this time of the year for classes. I moved my art supplies closer to me so I can still do them, but the passion is dead.

Why?

Because I’m struggling drawing bodies. It doesn’t make me want to stop drawing, it just makes me sad and not want to draw. I don’t have a particular style I’m going for, nor am I going for realism, but they’re just not going how I want. I really want to draw bodies for my characters, but failing is stressing me out. Failing isn’t scary, but it’s disappointing.

As well, it feels so stupid to post time and time because I’m not sure if I’m posting anything of value. I literally cannot bring myself to elaborate more on my ocs. 😔 Not because they’re bad, but I’m an artist and I assume people want to see visual art and not blocks of text. Anytime it’s about a character there’s so much more interactions but I don’t want to keep blasting people with on and on character profiles and no interactions with characters or anything, but I don’t feel like I can draw enough and I bit out more than I can chew. My art style fluctuates in quality too often.

I literally (as I’m not figuratively, literally!) almost had a meltdown over this whole thing. This is out of my comfort zone. Drawing two people together and making them look like they’re apart of the same picture. I know I should do it more, but this picture is exhausting and I got Noje’s dorsal part incorrect. (Should be flipped—that’s my bad)

Both of them look stiff and stale. Feyondo is a pain for me to draw as well. Any time I draw him, I believe a little part of me dies. His design has to look like that though because! It cannot look any other way or that’s not him!

But I know I’m burned out because I’m hiding from doing anything. Even the stuff I love because it looks terrible to me.

However!

The good news with all this is that if you’re turned off by your art, it means you might be improving and gaining insight that you need to change something or study something else, but also take a break.☺️ I’m not going to take a physical break just yet, because I have assignments to do, but I will be taking a break.

I will be taking my disgust with the way I draw bodies and the stiffness of figures (which usually isn’t that much of a problem, I just kinda want them to not be too janky). As well as draw two or more people interacting with each other.😮‍💨😭

As well, don’t forget to stay hydrated!

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about me artwork rants

Identity Politics and stress

The older I get and the more I get into political issues, the more frustrated I get and the more things bug me or don’t feel worth it to talk about. One of them is identity politics. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel like they’re bad or anything, I just find them to be stressful and responses and anger from people are difficult to help or cope with. I don’t think anyone wants to purposely be offensive or make everyone uncomfortable, and for me…I don’t run on spite. At all.

I understand that I’m speaking US politics, so if you aren’t from the US, don’t worry. It’s just not your politics (but you may subscribe to them.)

So, what I mean is that some of my characters go under different brackets of LGBT and queer identities. Some are easier to explain and some aren’t. I don’t want to ever feel like I’m pushing the politics down people’s throats or forcing them to see something they don’t want to see…

The thing about identity, is that that’s the driving force of a lot of people’s personalities and nurture. For example, I’m a Black American. It doesn’t define my personality in a way that makes me act a particular way, but it adds nuances to my actions. For example, if you look at my characters and how they’re designed (I believe), you may be able to tell. You may not, oh well. It gives a big outlook on people’s artwork. I’m also in the B and T region in the LGBT, this affects my characters. Some of them are trans, some of them are cis. Some are straight, gay, bisexual, or some kind of nuance.

Another identity politic is neurodivergency and mental illness. This one is a lot more complex and controversial. Some of the characters go through various different traumatic experiences and events in their lives and some of them are just born different.

I needed a picture to post on here and don’t feel like posting new art. She is not in the LGBT at all, she’s just cute.😂 The closer up you see this picture, the more visible the erased pictures are. I also always managed to leave erasures on my sheet any time I take a picture. So goofy.🤪

I want y’all to know that at a time in my life, I was very concerned with representation and identity and trying to do representation the best way possible and get everyone in, but now in my life my characters are written as they are. Their identities are as they are and they’re important.

I am aware none of y’all asked for this post, but it’s literally been a thing stuck in my head for hours on hours and days on days.

How do I acknowledge my characters for how they are? I understand that people could be offended and will be offended, but how do I write and explain these characters in a way that isn’t preachy, strange, or awkward?

I’m not going to write a list saying all my LGBT characters or explain the fantasy human races because firstly, that’s a lot of work, and secondly I don’t think that’s necessary. You’ll see more interaction posts with characters and maybe I’ll feel comfortable enough to write about them.

I’m not shy at all, but I get nervous and frustrated and I’m still trying to get rid of my SM personality and people pleasing tendencies. It’s like me getting uncomfortable writing in other languages because there’s usually an identity tied underneath it and personality and culture tied underneath that I feel like I’m impeding on. It’s ridiculous because so many people with different cultures and backgrounds write in English, but I still feel like a bad person doing it. For example, if you don’t know what I’m talking about. Spanish. I’m learning Spanish, and I feel like I’m impeding on Spanish speakers cultures and identities by writing stories and content in Spanish—even though I’m not writing about any ethnic groups or culture or anything. It goes into the other languages I’m trying to learn. (and this has nothing to do about cultural appropriation, I’m not whining about that.)

Anyway, I’ll see y’all! Thank you for listening.

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artwork original characters stories?

Story for y’all

Y’all, I’m feeling stressed out and today, so I’m going to post, but I’ll just give y’all a written out story. Hope you like it, I’m an visual artist before a literati or a writer.😣

As well, some of the stuff here is cultural specific and language specific and since I’m monolingual and unable to speak anything other than English, I will just use English to express their language. Bear with me.

(As well, how my character’s talk is how they talk, I do not talk like this. Thank you.😉)

Left to Right: Atane/ (I don’t have established spellings yet but his name is like Ankweda /ɑ̃.kʷe.ɾə/ [un-kweh-ra but say it like a d if you’re from the US and if you’re Spanish speaking say it like the end of nadar. I’m not sure about other languages, but it’s basically a tap trill]but I’m not a fan of the spelling) and Noshili/Tatmtar

Tatmtar and Ankweda are sitting together on the couch. Tatmtar is sitting with herbal on their hand and thinking about absolutely nothing like usual with a movie on. Ankweda is looking around at random objects in Tatmtar’s family home and gets curious. They pick up some things that Tatmtar confiscates and puts back away causing them to get bored and try to chat.

“Hey, Tatm,” Ankweda said feeling anxious to talk. “You invited me over to hang out, but we aren’t talking…so, are we watching stuff on the monitor together or are we talking?”

Tatmtar sighed and flipped their hair and pushed it back behind their ear with a quick movement. They had very dark black hair that in some lighting looked very black the point it broke reality and other times was so black it shined purple.

“Why I got to talk to you for?” Tatmtar asked aggressively. “You can’t just enjoy my company?”

Ankweda rubbed his neck and did an uncomfortable chuckle; he watched Tatmtar sip their tea. Ankweda didn’t want to watch the movie on the monitor and in fact, he didn’t like Tatmtar’s choices much and thought they had poor taste in films.

“Tatmtar, I enjoy your company a lot,” Ankweda replied, putting his arm around Tatmtar. “But, it would be even better if we talked instead of just sit around. Why don’t we talk about the person on the wall?”

Tatmtar was fuming with anger and frustration. They wanted to watch the movie, not chat! They glared and side-eyed Ankweda. They thought Ankweda rambled too much about nothing and just wanted to be near them without talking.

They groaned and rolled their eyes again and put their tea on the floor and pouted.

“Damn, boy,” Tatmtar fussed. “For what?! I literally don’t want to hear you ramble. I love you and all, dude, but shit…why can’t you just shut the hell up and watch the damn movie?! For fuck’s sake!”

Ankweda felt very uncomfortable and didn’t feel angry but he was mildly scared. Tatmtar ignored them and pouted. Ankweda sighed and sat closer to them and just glanced on the monitor for a second and laid his head on Tatmtar’s lap and played games on the monitor on his necklace. He twisted his little, black ringlets with his fingers and thought he’d ask again in a minute.

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about me artwork original character original content rants

Ideas for stylization

As you know, I’m practicing on stylizing and I spoke about the frustrations of styling characters and leaving out features to make the drawing process faster. I did basically a sequential outline on how I want the characters to move or whatever it’s a struggle still, but less of a struggle. The characters here are in their late twenties but you wouldn’t know that because it’s hard to discern their age (I mean, I struggle with that in general) and give them a defining quality. Some people know how to make eyes look so beautiful and uniquely drawn with beautiful expressions. I can give expressions but the eyes are kinda not giving.

Anyway, the drawing inconsistencies are laziness and impatience. It was truly a headache to draw it this way, but it wasn’t terrible.

On the image above, there are two characters—Neloni/Damijo and Sadorno/Madenna. They’re getting married. This scene is before the wedding. If you can’t read my handwriting, let me know. Anyway, they’re a hot mess. I wanted to capture their typical expressions and how the characters move. Damijo fidgets and rocks a lot when he moves and is known to pace and not stand still. Sadorno is a very internal person and her movements are more stiff but dramatic—especially when she’s in her angry or guilt tripping mode. She’s swift and sharp.

I’ll show you further why it’s difficult for me to simplify characters—the point I made last time I post.

Anyway, thanks for reading!

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about me artwork original character original content

Fueling my excitement!

Hi!!!!

I’m so excited that school is starting back up again for me! I’ve made a palette and collected my ideas for my new projects. I will still take out my time to post on here.

Here’s my palette! It’s not a diverse or “useful” palette but its fun to paint with. I don’t like painting with things just because they’re useful and realistic. I like painting with stuff because it’s fun and interesting. Figuring out what is interesting and nice to me is what I prefer.

I also am still trying to figure out places to post a comic/sequential art without having to worry about it being digital only. I don’t know that many and I still have to figure out what is the best site.

I’m also really really excited for some new purchases and mixtures and hope they do well.

Sorry about my handwriting. Here’s Noshili and Atane meeting each other.

Anyway, I’m trying to find a convenient style for making comics. I get tired easily and when I plan stuff, I have to do it immediately or there’s a chance I won’t get to it after a while. So! I’m trying to simplify. The easier part is that it’s easy to make silhouettes and shapes with my characters, the difficult part is abstracting them and capturing their age.

A lot of my characters vaguely have very similar features and the things I’m taking away from them to abstract them are their defining features. For example, Noshili, and two characters Neloni and Nadoni. They have different lips but their eyes are exactly the same as they’re all related. They all have different postures and stances and different skin colors and hair but it would be very hard to capture that without seeing their whole face. I know it’s not gonna be that big of a deal, but I don’t want to get made fun of for same face syndrome!

As for other qualities, eh. I think they’ll be fine. I just have to work on gestures and showing emotions.

It’s not on watercolor paper but I am not a purist so I don’t care.

I’ve also been testing acrylics (not even appropriate ones—oops!) to try out with watercolors and they’re honestly the best. The thing is, they add a texture to the watercolors but when they’re thinned down and don’t have that nasty plastic flavor to it, they actually are able to have watercolors be painted on top. They aren’t resoluble though so while they can be lifted while wet, they’re not going to rewet and you can’t lift afterwards. It kinda solves my glazing problem to an extent. I want to do watercolor portraits that have vague qualities to old master paintings or have that energy but nothing is similar to it. These help a lot. I’ve also found a deep love for ultramarine. My heart and soul go to ultramarine (for now) and I love how it looks. If you know me, I used to hate royal blue and colors that look like it (not to anything that has to do with sports teams or anything, just hated it) but watercolors made me love it.

There are some colors that are perfect for being the main focus in paintings and that’s ultramarine blue and violet right now for some. As of now, I try to do focal points with colors that are important to each character. For example, Noje is a big fan of yellow so if I had her on a painting, that would be her focal point, but if I had Feyondo on there, his focal point would be blue.

The reason why I don’t elaborate sometimes on colors because they change and typically when it comes to some characters and their “soulmates” they always have complementary colors on the additive spectrum. However, with paints, that’s not additive and is more subtractive so these can change. I do not have an exact color for them, just a color family. It has something to do with their dreamstate/micosi /mɨ.kɔ.si/.

I am so excited to share more with y’all about more stuff!☺️ As well, my wattpad account is on my homepage. 🙂

Another study to see how much I can simplify. It was kinda difficult drawing these characters fast as possible but it wasn’t difficult to get their energy and movements as well as line qualities. The actual look is a little 😬. As well, this is Noshili and Atane again.
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artwork

Very Late “New Years” Goals

So, I hope to do a monthly check on this, but for this year, I have goals. Small goals.

  • 1. Make a blogger with art stuff on it
  • 2. Start cleaning my computer and phone to prepare for videos
  • 3. Start developing sketches for sketchbook tours
  • 4. Draw more (this one is literally vague on purpose as it’s more of a vibe and not a particular goal. I want to feel like I draw more) and try to be more on theme with the story or try to start a comic or do some pages of sequential art.
  • 5. Update this account more often. (And I mean having at least 52 posts)
  • 6. Find an audience on here.
  • 7. Write and finish my Wattpad story. (😭) I write updates and not writing and editing.
  • 8. I forgot what I was putting here.😂
A sketch by Leonardo da Vinci that I used. I don’t know what it’s named but it’s easy to find online.
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artwork

Art, WIPs, and progress.

I hope everyone has a Happy New Year!🎈🎊🎆 ☺️

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artwork rants

Study rant

Imitation is the highest form of flattery.

Mimesis of the artists either means you’re immortal or your livelihood is stolen.
in the Renaissance, a human God.
A master worthy of being worshipped as if he was more than,
A hero.

it doesn’t seem like some people care,
to wonder what makes art of the master’s beautiful.
Or even what makes it good to them.

Mimesis.
Your stuff is worth remixing,
Worth putting in an allegorical concepts…
Worth remixing and rematching.

Others don’t matter unless they have that.

Could anyone be a master?
Or was this destined by a god, deity, evil religious figure.
Why do people make Biblicalesque stories and documentaries
And people willingly watch them,
Feeling some kind of connection.

Why do masters feel fake?
As they never existed…
How can someone deny a god, but worship the essence of a man they don’t know and never will know
and imply a person into them?
Am I simply r———,
Or did I miss out on something else?

That I’m to study these artists,
That there’s an objective truth.
That I’m supposed to like these artists no questions asked.
That their skills, talents, and whatevers are actual objective truths,
instead of opinions from those who hold my soul and other’s souls captive.

I question myself…
Why do I care?
Imitation is the highest form of flattery.
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about me artwork rants

Learn the rules so you can break them!

I don’t want to go back.

but is it possible to go back
to the old things,
not the good things,
the bad?

and reimagine them
as the good they once were,
the happiness it gave,
the sadness it sheltered.

the bad art that was made…
can I clear my mind to remember what it once was?
it is reasonable to think it is bad because I was told to do better and it moved my heart, causing it to writhe…my eyes glew up with the idea this person wants to help me,
they know the bad,
they can help me.

But did they?
I can’t seem to draw a picture without hearing critiques, never bad, just mindfulness, but never enjoying the task anymore and wanting this perfection.

A teacher cannot teach me perfection,
it doesn’t exist.
Yet, it does. It exists as much as race, religion, government, gender, sex, control.
It has to exist…but I don’t like it.

My liking doesn’t matter,
there are important things.

I don’t exist as an individual, I never have.
everything but.

I am a product,
A statistic,
A follower,
A mistake, an Idiot.


Never something as my own.

My opinions only ruin people’s days, but rarely change them.
I have no influence.
I could disappear,
and the only thing that would be sad is that I’m dead or hurt,
but it doesn’t matter.
cry about the issue and not the person.

And when someone becomes my product,
my statistic, my follower, another mistake, and another idiot under me…

well, I’ll still be nothing.
Categories
artwork rants

Dreams

I wonder when I dream about someone
if that someone sees me in their dream,
what’s the point of doing all that dreaming,
if it leads to me thinking and remembering
those I vowed to forget in my reality.

I question my mind.
it is a privilege to remember,
but when I want to forget,
it all comes back nicely wrapped in a dream.

Never important things,
homework,
medication,
basic self care…

Just faces,
bodies,
of people who never seem to care about me or remember me.

I just find that upsetting.

It would make sense to leave a writer’s/author’s note. I’ve been looking at some people’s accounts and they do it, but I didn’t know if it was worth it. Is it worth it?

Categories
artwork original content

It’s my duty to post on November 30th!

Hey, y’all! I’ve drawn more characters (that I already have) and will be posting them in their respective areas soon.

As for now, I have been busy with school work and other issues.

Anyway, once break starts officially for me, I will be drawing more (hopefully 🤞) Have a nice one!

Categories
artwork

Doodles because I have nothing prepared

I’m feeling a bit better, y’all, but I haven’t made anything so y’all will see doodles and progress pics.

Here’s an attempt to draw Noje and design her body shape. The shape is fine, the face is AAAH. Noje has a very pretty body.
One of them is eye practice. One character has a face that rarely shows emotion but if he looks angry, it scares his kid but when he’s sad he’s really sad. It’s hard consistently drawing his face…oh well.

Sorry I do not have more, but this is the best I can do right now.

Categories
artwork conculture original character original content

I have nothing to post so story!

Solisi painted in quickly with ok paper and rushing (this isn’t recent!) you also can also see the pigment colors lol.
Those who know you wonder
if you hate them. If you
Hated yourself completely.
Where was your autonomy?
Born to look kissed by the sun,
Your skin looked soft. Delicate.
You were afraid, but you felt your
Family always had your back…

Yet, you turned away. Not out of hate. Not out of embarrassment.
You turned for passion and for
people to enjoy that passion.

They changed your shell which your soul remained and tried to change your insides—impossible.
You, sun baby, are strong even when you turned to the sun.
Now there’s two of you.
Two souls fighting to stay consciousness.
One, a sun baby—the other, the courageous sun.

You are not twins, nor opposites,
together as one.
One made by their creator—Nini and the other created by the servants of Bamy.
Be not confused, be not scared.
You live now in complexity.
As the complex, courageous sun baby.

I’ll post about this character when I draw the other ones. He’s a celebrity actor and not a main and some of the main characters enjoy the movies he’s in.

Categories
artwork rants

Realism rant (bc I can)

I gotta give y’all a heads up. I am a college student that’s getting an visual arts bachelor’s degree. This is an OPINION, not a research article/journal. If I can find “proof,” great. Otherwise, you can just enjoy the writing if it means anything to you.

So, I stumbled upon this argument online.

I can’t say I disagree with most of the points, as I feel neutral about it. But one thing that stuck out to me was the part about having to study realism to have good art?

Tell me y’all, what’s your idea of realism? You probably won’t be wrong, but I’m sure we all will have different opinions on it.

So, what is realism?

Well, realism is when a picture represents reality. It’s simple.

That leads to when a picture is realistic. Commonly when one thinks of realism, they see hyper realism, photo realism, Baroque art, renaissance art, Leonardo da Vinci! Yes, those are realistic, but those aren’t necessarily the same type. In a contemporary art class, I learned the word mimesis—the deliberate copying of the real world. It was a very interesting concept to me because it was never my intention to copy anyone’s art completely. Mimesis, in the book/article we read in class was used to describe copying a picture exactly. The author claims that it is impossible to copy nature exactly and what we are really doing is denotation—which is the literal representation—but that doesn’t mean that we are replicating reality, but in fact, representing it. (This is taken from Reality Remade by Nelson Goodman)

I’ll use a common denotation.

Categories
artwork

Art

It’s very irritating sitting around and hearing people talk about traditional art like it’s some god send and digital and other forms of art are soulless and trash. Stop. I understand that’s it’s in good faith and you’re stating your connection and you are entitled to your opinion, but sometimes the things you do have repercussions. *Art* has been historically used as many different things, but in the society I’m in and most of Western society, it has been used as a status tool. Frequently, we don’t understand how a lot of art is private and many traditional art is highly expensive and hard to access. It has always been this way, museums weren’t created to show art until the 20th century… Mostly because art in western society isn’t for everyone.

There are art movements that catered towards people but those mostly were brainwash from the church (Renaissance art mostly is control art and highly religious until the 16th century in certain areas) or controlling devices for propaganda. Sure, you got newspaper articles or little advertisements, but you weren’t going to see fine art. Fine art is differentiated from commercial and decorative art by its psychological worth or how it represents all of society (which is stupid to me, but might be cool with you) or just an idea. It is usually very expensive due to the commissioner or the amount of effort put into it.

If there weren’t other forms of seeing art other than the physical reality, many people wouldn’t be artists—yet, people have a lot to talk about what is real art, good art, worthy and so on. It’s not helpful. Can you afford a $100 painting or a $25 print? What about a $1000 painting or a $25 print? Do you not respect an artist’s effort because they did something to you that revoked the soul and your idea of connection? Well, some people do and when it comes to plausibility, anything that sounds plausible could be true. If you tell someone the soul is lost a piece because it’s not in a style or medium you want, they could spread that idea all around the place. Nobody should say traditional art is passé as nobody should say digital art is robot garbage because people believe that and affect someone else. Ideas move and move. Ever consider where your ideas come from?

Yes, digital isn’t material, but a lot of things aren’t. Ideas aren’t material. Happiness isn’t material. The concept of the art object is not material.

I can’t remember if it was in a book or somewhere else, but my professor in a class said that a lot of artists hate studying criticism because a theory could invalidate them.

It’s interesting how many people complain about human nature and the cold, insensitiveness of the internet yet when they hear someone is showing emotions they get cynical and insensitive and tell them to stop feeling so sensitive. I’m sensitive. This whole post is a case of sensitivity. I’m mostly a traditional artist. I don’t do realism, I don’t do abstraction. I don’t have art that sells easily and is easily avoided and I don’t make art for galleries. I am an illustrator to an extent. However, it’s annoying that people don’t like other options and actually look down on them. I can understand lacking a connection; I’ve seen people not care about classical music or other things, but I will draw the line with disrespect.

I don’t care about AI. If I put effort into a piece, I would get upset if someone called it trash because I used what I had.

And oh, don’t get me started on the irritating debate on art styles.

Having opinion is fine, but dang. I have to sit in art classes forced to do realism and academia or no representative non objective abstraction because someone lucky had an opinion that to make a standard and add most people licked their balls and acted like what they said was king and everyone else could kick rocks.

Anyway, thank you for listening to my rant, here’s a picture.

There are two characters