Tag: internal arguments

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Rants and Rambles

Off my chest, onto paper

I’m in a quite tangy impossible mood right now. Not about the topic I’m talking about.

So, I hear a lot of people say people have bad art and claim that it’s just their style and they refuse to improve.

😞 I already know this is an unpopular opinion, but it’s my opinion unfortunately.

Mind your business.

We all have different tastes, wants, needs, desires, wishes. As long as you ask a person and they’re honest and can show you why they like something in a way they can understand, you’ll never understand why they do art like that or why they even like it.

Why am I complaining?

It’s only a choice to draw ‘badly’ if you can draw realistically, otherwise you are hurting your progress.

You hear all the time to learn the rules turn break them…but the thing is. When do you learn all the rules? When do you learn all the rules? When are you finally able to draw your perfectly imperfect, wonky, poor anatomy drawings again?

It’s like, is my aesthetic supposed to change to realism so I can create art that looks like instagram explore page art that frequently gets stolen by AI creators? Am I supposed to make old master paintings?

Or is this a ploy to get rid of artists so the competition can go back down?

My taste is my taste. If my taste is bad to you, that’s fine. It’s just my taste.

Anywho

It’s annoying how artists and critics talk about improving. Some of them can’t compliment you, they just talk about improving over and over again.

It’s like, improve what?! What am I supposed to be improving? Drawing something differently? What?

Also, telling people who didn’t ask, tips that help you improve but may not help anyone is annoying.

I will not do a 100 hands study. I will not. It’s not going to inspire me and make me a better artist, I’m just going to burn out on the tenth hand then think I’m pathetic for not doing it perfectly and keep redoing the same thing over and I’m going to take my anger out on people. I personally rather not.

I don’t even want to anyway. I always feel like when I’m forced to do it that if I don’t do it perfectly, I failed. If I do a tutorial and it isn’t perfect, I failed. I don’t like having that energy around me. Those thoughts swirl in my brain the coagulate then spin around my head like the solar system. I have to think about every single little critique, opinion, or other crap in my head when I draw and it tired me—I lose stamina. It’s truly exhausting.

I don’t mind constructive criticism—I’ll argue because I’m sensitive—but in the long run, I consider it. But hearing, “keep drawing, you’ll improve” or “you need to improve” is a migraine-GERD inducer.

Don’t tell me to keep drawing. I draw a lot. Not everyday, but often enough.

It just pisses me off how it’s just improvement culture everywhere, hiding behind tutorials culture too.

It’s fine going on professionals and looking at how they do stuff or your favorite artist, but if you’re just fussing on a Tiktok or Pinterest tutorial for or against it, you’re wasting your time and you’re definitely doing stuff for validation.

I’m still learning this lesson slowly that nobody can give the validation that I want. If I’m looking for it, I’m not going to find it and I need to validate myself because oh my.

You can only tell so much to people. That’s why this rant is a rant and not one of those “things not to tell an artist”. I’m not going to tell you what to do. I’m assuming everyone who reads my blog is a conscious, opinionated individual that thinks for themselves and does what they want and potentially may care for other people, but they’re primarily self-serving.

I cannot and WILL NOT tell ANYONE what to do. I’ve learned my lesson. I don’t have the authority, charisma, and looks. I’m just a cute idiot with a blog and art supplies. However, I know for a FACT that I’m entitled to rant and I’m entitled to share my rant.

If you disagree, that’s completely fine! Do share why! I wanna know what your thoughts are. If you agree, share your thoughts.

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about me Rants and Rambles

Comfort Zone

I have nothing to post because I started school. trigger warning: rant and self hatred

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artwork Rants and Rambles

Study rant

Imitation is the highest form of flattery.

Mimesis of the artists either means you’re immortal or your livelihood is stolen.
in the Renaissance, a human God.
A master worthy of being worshipped as if he was more than,
A hero.

it doesn’t seem like some people care,
to wonder what makes art of the master’s beautiful.
Or even what makes it good to them.

Mimesis.
Your stuff is worth remixing,
Worth putting in an allegorical concepts…
Worth remixing and rematching.

Others don’t matter unless they have that.

Could anyone be a master?
Or was this destined by a god, deity, evil religious figure.
Why do people make Biblicalesque stories and documentaries
And people willingly watch them,
Feeling some kind of connection.

Why do masters feel fake?
As they never existed…
How can someone deny a god, but worship the essence of a man they don’t know and never will know
and imply a person into them?
Am I simply r———,
Or did I miss out on something else?

That I’m to study these artists,
That there’s an objective truth.
That I’m supposed to like these artists no questions asked.
That their skills, talents, and whatevers are actual objective truths,
instead of opinions from those who hold my soul and other’s souls captive.

I question myself…
Why do I care?
Imitation is the highest form of flattery.
I like posting my art on here because I don’t have to source. Completely irrelevant to the post, but it’s fine. I don’t care.
Categories
about me artwork Rants and Rambles

Learn the rules so you can break them!

I don’t want to go back.

but is it possible to go back
to the old things,
not the good things,
the bad?

and reimagine them
as the good they once were,
the happiness it gave,
the sadness it sheltered.

the bad art that was made…
can I clear my mind to remember what it once was?
it is reasonable to think it is bad because I was told to do better and it moved my heart, causing it to writhe…my eyes glew up with the idea this person wants to help me,
they know the bad,
they can help me.

But did they?
I can’t seem to draw a picture without hearing critiques, never bad, just mindfulness, but never enjoying the task anymore and wanting this perfection.

A teacher cannot teach me perfection,
it doesn’t exist.
Yet, it does. It exists as much as race, religion, government, gender, sex, control.
It has to exist…but I don’t like it.
My liking doesn’t matter,
there are important things.

I don’t exist as an individual, I never have.
everything but.

I am a product,
A statistic,
A follower,
A mistake, an Idiot.

Never something as my own.

My opinions only ruin people’s days, but rarely change them.
I have no influence.
I could disappear,
and the only thing that would be sad is that I’m dead or hurt,
but it doesn’t matter.
cry about the issue and not the person.

And when someone becomes my product,
my statistic, my follower, another mistake, and another idiot under me…

well, I’ll still be nothing.
Old art from three-four years ago. It feels like looking at a completely different person referencing a different thing and the only reason why it’s terrible because it isn’t abstract enough, realistic enough, finished enough, or enough in general.
Categories
artwork Rants and Rambles

Exhausted

I hate to abandon my account because I’m psychologically exhausted, but I’m exhausted. It’s very tiring to read on here and respond but also post and when I don’t post, I feel guilty about not being successful.

Colored sketch to help me learn how to color figures with limited palettes

I hate how on social media you just get ignored easily if you don’t post anything but if you do you still get ignored. I don’t want to be on social media all day, I want to be successful in general…but I’m not cut out for it at this moment. It’s just tiring and I get even more tired or try to focus on things that are easier and make me happy but dang.😐 There’s not much.

Categories
artwork Character building, but not anything specific OC Building and Practices

Power of formation of lines and color

I struggled drawing a character so I changed his face and used another character as a reference but I still didn’t do it
Sketches and a face of a character. All faces aren’t final. If I can’t redraw the character, or reproduce their essence, they change.

I struggle drawing sex-based differences on characters. I don’t know, I don’t like when I’m talking about a character and someone sees them as something else. It’s not their fault, but it’s always fascinating.

My whole platform for my art other than just being my outlet is the idea how interesting it is that we can see a bunch of lines grouped up and associate it with our issues, our stress, our sex, our gender, our race. I’m sure in a different reality (if there is one) my characters exist (not that I want to meet them) but their reality is still in a 2D form.

I sat and made a whole culture and civilization for them with their own gender perceptions and their racial identities, yet, when I show people the art, it means nothing and they bring their own judgment. I try not to let it get to me, but it does. If I draw out particular characters with particular looks—how will they be received.

It’s always fun asking people how they perceive my art. I always ask it because I always want to know how people perceive race, gender, class, so on. A common one is, “what gender do they look? How come?” “What is their personality?” “What do they appear like?” “What is their race?”

I only say this because it fascinates me when I think about racial typing in my head and wandering if I’m representing myself well.

Here’s some drawings from the past few years. How do you perceive them? (I know a lot of lack a lot of visual personality, argh)

I perceive a lot of things differently than they’re supposed to be and it makes it difficult to show content.😩 What do y’all think?