Using a more vibrant and warm color palette to design Adis clothes
So, hello there! I got too nervous to draw backgrounds or redesign, so I did some color swatches and this bad boy. I designed some clothes.
Here’s the palette I made a long time ago and showed on this blogThe new palette I made. (like made from scratch. It is pigment and honey and/or honey medium!)Here’s some more of those lovely swatches to show the variety.It’s the palette again 😉
And I’m going to post my palettes again so you can see how they look. 😀
Here are the two palettes. Not everything on these palettes are made by me, but all of them have been used. My palettes look like they’re art by themselves haha.
I forgot to show all my little studies I did for color environment and I’m posting on my phone in a environment that doesn’t have my art around.
Anyway, I’ve been doing little sketches and paintings as well and have been struggling.
I was drawing Zhan in some fancy Adis clothes but got stressed out with his face and how I drew him that I didn’t finish.Lupita drawn. I was drawing someone else but it looked like him so I changed it.😂This is just a painting study for an underpainting to know what colors look like in surroundingsFinished product I don’t have any blues on the last two. I used a paint from Daniel Smith named Kyanite Genuine. (It’s not that blue in the tube and actually looks like a sparkly blue-black or payne’s grey in the one I bought and allegedly it is kyanite rock…but I don’t know if it is or isn’t. It’s definitely not that granulating nor really does much. It’s just dull but I love sparky stuff though.)
So, I was a bit productive…but eh…but not really.
Have a nice day and stay hydrated and healthy! Talk to you later.☺️
So, this is a picture made about…hmm…two or so years ago. I don’t know when I drew it…but considering that the style looks long and the character has a big nose, I’d say 2020-2021.
It is a picture of Zhan with an ancestral doll that I haven’t created a name for. It is powered by a button and plays music that sounds like a music box (it kind of is but I don’t know).
It is one of the objects an Adis uses to get to their micosi, i.e. dream-state. They press on the music their familial ancestor crafted for them and they appear. (There are other ways, but this is one I drew out). This one is supposed to mimic a figure—that works like an orisha—to sing to bring comfort. It kinda isn’t a doll but that’s what I called it. I guess it would be a sculpture or a music box. 🤷🏾
Anywho, this specific object is made by a distant ancestor (like a many great grandpa) named Hadorinal who passed it down to everyone else in his family and it got to Zhan after the dad stupidly gifted to his mom (because he liked her) not realizing she’d have his spawn.
In the micosi, Zhan usually reads the books prayed in by other family members (the spirits can be given food, books, so on) or he talks to the ancestor, Hadorinal, who I mentioned earlier. He has the ability to speak Adis (due to his father Lupita) so that’s who he talks to and he will talk to him about everything in his life.
Now, that micosi (I’ve painted the colors but not drawn it to look as is) has a very 2D appearance to it and also the characters rock as if they’re in a video game. The composed ancestral music constantly plays over and over (unless the person is intercultural with a culture with a quiet micosi or one that plays for a short while) and the characters, if able, may dance to it. The backgrounds are usually vibrant and have many shapes and have varieties of realism. Some of the characters, like Zhan, draw in the style of their micosi (albeit, not well, because Zhan cannot draw😂) while others don’t so much.
I probably would redesign the figure so it’s easier to draw and as well, make it look more creative (not the original isn’t, it just needs a different form). I think I may change the size too. [I have a bit more knowledge on designs after seeing some African statues, sculptures, and masks, so I have some ideas!]
When? “When” is the question, that many ask when asking for the next best thing or the end of the worst.
I ask, When will I be able to draw bodies correctly? When will I have the courage to attempt bodies, instead of sitting with my book drawing busts? When will this fear be over?! When will I practice anatomy? When will I complete my conlangs? When will I put a story together?
These are only in my control. I control when.
Drawing is not enough. Practicing other things are great, but they’re tiring or embarrassing…extremely embarrassing. It is extremely hard to post content that looks bad as it is extremely hard to take time on a picture that looks like absolute trash. By no means am I trying to achieve perfection, I’m trying to achieve completion or at least do something well enough that I don’t see immediate mistakes when I do it or it doesn’t make me stop too early.
I’ll show you some stuff that has me like that.
Trying to develop a particular character’s body. 🙂Pitri and Tatmtar. They’re very easy to draw out of the rest.Noshili (Tatmtar), a very unfinished picture of Zhan/Feyondo and Noje’s oldest Nijine as a small child. (I know he’s holding her line a doll. I’m stupid and that’s why I stopped drawing it. Also, there’s too much separation. Last person is Zhan. Who is holding his daughter.Pitri listening to someone. Her body looks JANKY, but I actually like it, but the head isn’t turned how I want it. She’s drinking a drink that has a lot of caffeine in it because she’s a caffeine addict. (So, idk if I’d worldbuild food or not, but it makes the job 100% harder. I’m into drawing, then worldbuild, then writing.)This lovely angel, Nejame is shown to be sixteen here and was first crowned Ut Ne (by the lazy drawn gold flowers in his hair). His name would be at the time Nedase A Leu Ne Nahande Ut Ne. Or translated That (important) Person from Ne Land Nahande Nedase. Ne Ut means citizen.Noje and trying to get her skin tone. (It’s not dark enough and her body is too thin here)Movement studies with pen and drawing bodies. (An L but it was fun)Unfinished pictures of bowls and ceramics. They cause me stress to draw, but if I want to be an illustrator, I have to learn. The problem is that if I want a still life, I have to craft all of these and my sculpting skills are subpar.S panicking and feeling guilty.This is a picture of Damijo (Neloni) and a character that I haven’t given a particular name yet (his cultural name is Solisi). I will call them S on the paragraph. It’s STIFF. Really stiff and stale!These are somewhat in order of importance and also sequentialness.
S is playing a Jinhi hunter and Damijo is playing the “evil” Jinhi. It’s somewhat early in Damijo’s acting career and he’s a horrible but cute acting character (he can act, he just doesn’t really fit in with the vibe and was placed there for nefarious reasons not of his own doing). Anyway, of the two scenes, a scene before makes S feel really bad for Damijo to the point that instead of drawing his sword (that I poorly drew), he drops it and walks to the Jinhi (again, played by Damijo) and nuzzles him.
S has a reputation of being sarcastic, brave, heroic, and insensitive (because it’s their culture to mimic soullessness or basically lack emotions because emotions are bad to them). Meanwhile, Damijo’s reputation is the opposite. He’s very sensitive, ditzy, silly, and humorous because he looks stupid to people and has a strange sounding voice. S basically feels bad for the in story character and also for Damijo and cracks into his inner suppressed self, Solisi.
S was born in the same small community— Sholi—as Damijo, but instead of being a Jinhi like Damijo, he is a Sol Solio. He, however, had a very different life then Damijo and was raised moderate poverty and lacked a citizenship to Bamygdala. He was scouted out by these people looking for an actor. He fit the idea when he acted, but his appearance and his demeanor was unfit. He is naturally timid, anxious, shy, and very emotional and will cry easily. They worked on him with that, but they also gave S plastic surgery to look more of the idea for Northern Bamy people, they were trying to push and made him bleach his skin and hair.
As sensitive as he is, it gave him an identity crisis and made him slightly dissociate. He sees himself as Solisi as his own, but S wants to take over his body and fight him. S is almost always referred to as the Almighty S, and even Solisi will call him that. Solisi refers to himself as himself and refers to S as someone else even though they share the same body and think similarly but differently. Solisi is very traumatized of all the chaos in his life and that’s one of the many ways he handles it (until he gets therapy).
Anyway, Solisi comes out of S in this scene and decides to not to harm the Jinhi. The director thought it was okay because it promoted a message he wanted. (That it was socially okay for citizens to buy a spouse that’s from one of the indigenous groups nearby.) Though, S’s mindset of doing that wasn’t out of romance. It was more out of frustration.
This one is the older version of the nuzzle. There’s nothing that bad about it but Damijo’s face isn’t the way I want it and S looks too flat, but otherwise, I like the emotions of the older one more. Damijo looks adorable (to me).
Anyway, this was a lot to write. I was a bit hesitant to write it, because it could be spoilers…but you know…👉👈. This comic or even storyline is unlikely to take off at the rate I’m going so I thought it would be more worth my time to just say it and move on and show you my oh so lovely art. (Not sarcasm, I do actually think my art is lovely.)🤷🏾It was nice talking to you. Have a nice day or night and make sure to stay hydrated.☺️
Nilili. (She’s the mom of Neloni and is around 28-34 here after tragedy in a Jinhi costume)Neloni (around age 15-25 with his hair straightened and cut. He’s wearing darker colors here. Wearing light and pastel colors would be equivalent of wearing black in Western cultures of this world)Noshili. You know. Tatmtar. I struggle drawing their face. They have a very thin top lip and drawing the shape is difficult difficult. The eyes are also difficult because all of them have to have the same eyes as Nilili. Of course, if I drew these particular characters more realistically, their eyes would be a lot different. I don’t think I would because it creeps me out. Seeing them doing more than just 🙂 or 😕 creeps me out.
I know I said I was going to do interaction pictures but I got the dumb idea to color. I mean, coloring is not bad, but I’m not a fan of coloring. I’ve never been a fan of coloring. When I was younger, it used to embarrass me how everyone colored so neatly and I’d color with lines everywhere going everywhere in different directions. As you can see, I still have a lot of that haphazard lines in my work and clearly struggling with hair.
So anyways, just random tidbits about these characters and how I draw them: (I slip up a lot, but it’s a one-man show)
Nilili, Neloni, and Noshili always have a side part to the right of their hair and have bangs that are all similar.
Neloni and Noshili wear girly and/or feminine clothes. Neloni likes tight clothes and hates certain fabrics and will go into a complete meltdown and take hours to calm down after wearing it. He hates wearing makeup and during his career in acting, he’d wipe his face a lot having to redo shots. He also struggles with nail polish but wears dark blue nail polish (a color his husband likes.) Noshili wears clothes that are considered frumpy and baggy. They will not wear tight clothes because they get uncomfortable seeing their body. They wear any kind of makeup and likes to look facially pretty and will ask Noje to do their makeup.
When Noshili has straightened hair, it’s usually a flowing mane, top knot (at home), or a low bun (when out). They always will have a piece of hair that reverts back in the front of their bang.
When Noshili’s hair is curly, they always wear it slicked down with their bangs pulled back, bun, or braids. (Because they have very tangly hair.
Unlike their brother, their hair shape is an upright triangular like 🔺. They have long, black hair and should always be colored with a yellow or green skin color to contrast the hair. (I color their hair the same color as Noje’s skin. Dark purple.)
Neloni is a natural blond. (I didn’t show Nilili’s first husband and Neloni’s dad because I haven’t drawn him, but he carries those genes, but it isn’t a gene that would cause red hair or other types of blond, most light brown hair.)
Neloni is always drawn with an oval head.
Everyone that shares traits with Neloni and Nilili looks either very stank, sad, or very goofy and dazed.
Nilili has jet-black hair but I didn’t draw it that way because 🤷🏾 didn’t know how.
Nilili has an internal color of red and shares that color with Neloni because they were close when she was alive. Meanwhile, Noshili has an earth green color.
Nilili and Neloni have a gap in their two front teeth, Noshili doesn’t.
Neloni and Nilili tilt slightly while listening to people talk and cannot sit still and will move around, rock, and bounce a lot. Noshili jitters and shakes a lot but will sit quietly and probably will sit in the same spot for hours.
Nilili and Neloni yell extremely loud when they talk and when theyre speaking in Kwadi, they talk very slow and have a drawl, but speaking in Jinhi, they speak rapidly fast and sometimes people think they’re yelling.
They’re also both very ditzy and can be easily swindled and are nice to people, especially family. They got lost easily and are terrified of dogs.
All of them enjoy singing. Noshili was taught how to sing by Neloni. Neloni was taught by Nilili.
Neloni named Noshili after his older sister that was taken from him at six years old. Noshili looks up to Neloni but is skeptical of his personality and advice.
Noshili talks very quietly but if they’re irritated they talk extremely fast and use a lot of expletives and threats.
All of them are very tall and bottom heavy. (Neloni is probably 6’5, Nilili is 6’3, and Noshili is 6’2. I’m horrible at catching heights of characters so I struggle.)
Nilili made sure her second husband promised to take care of Neloni and his half brother Nstaid when she died.
Nilili died on Neloni’s birthday when he was twelve and his father, Neshali died the same day when Neloni was six. Neshali was shot dead in front of him by the military.
Neloni nor Noshili do not celebrate their birthday for different reasons and when asked will have different responses. Neloni will get nervous but say something to take off the mood or won’t leave his room and Noshili will start screaming and will try to fight then get in a crying fit and throw up.
Neloni screams at the same time every morning and runs somewhere and either dry heaves in the bathroom or hides and cries and stopped it when he turned 60.
Noshili is terrified of being alone and in the dark and will cry and latch onto people nearby. If Noshili is yelled at, they will sit either teary-eyed or cry. Neloni will yell back and try to fight. (He hates being yelled at.)
Nilili doesn’t cook very well, but her second husband enjoyed her cooking.
All of them are attached to their hair and if it gets damaged or cut off, they will mentally shut off or declare enemies with whomever cut their hair.
Neloni has been arrested and charged with kidnapping even though he didn’t do it. (😂)
Have a nice day, y’all. Sorry for the filler. I am a hot mess.
Okay, y’all. So, basically, I’m forcing myself out of my funk. As you know from my last blog post written in pure rage. 😬😓 (give me a break, I was reading about stuff to improve my art. Improvement has always been the soul crusher in my life)
I absolutely refuse to write long posts and pages about my concultures. I believe I’d rather like to split them up. It is tedious to write about every single character in a long post only for that post to never be looked at again even if I write about said characters. I have no idea if links work for people! So, I rather just split them up into informationals.
I am trying my hardest to communicate with you all the best way I can, but communication has never been my strong suit. Honesty is great too, but I’m trying to give relevant honesty and not honesty that gets on people’s nerves. I like to pretend I’m a good person, but I doubt I am.
I hate to post more than once per day, but it is what it is. I still have more to post and more to talk about.
Tatmtar’s sisterVaraTatmtar’s brother Noje’s cousin by association (she’s not an in-law because legally her grandparents are not legally married, but they have a cultural relationship much like a marriage, but more so, a companionship.Tatmtar’s maternal cousins that I will definitely redraw. They are legally Tatmtar’s cousins without a doubt. Their parents are legally married. (they’re like the strange hillbilly cousins from kid shows, except they’re wealthy and probably are just mildly autistic)Noje’s older half-sister (she’s a clone of her father and a figure named Newe. I will elaborate later. When I redraw her or might draw out how she spawned. She was made in desperation and is very loved)This is Tatmtar’s brother-in-law. He’s very strange but he’s a king or something. I have to worldbuild more to help his status. Sorry. His filler name is on there. Characters have filler names to represent where their culture is based on. As you can see, his name is Portuguese and he’s probably located in a state that is vaguely based on Portugal. (When I say vaguely, I mean it. All these characters and states are like that.🤷🏾)Very outdated picture of Ankweda. It’s nothing wrong with it. The hair and the face are accurate, but if you look at this picture long enough, you can see that the shoulders are very skinny and narrow and the neck is too thin. He’s also supposed to be fatter than that. This is him though when he bleached and loced his hair.This is Noje’s twin sister. Not the best drawing of her. They’re fraternal twins. All my characters look exactly the same but I still manage to make characters not look similar enough. She’s probably going to look more herself when I redraw her. She’s the complete opposite of Noje and likes completely different people and wears completely different clothes and has a completely different shape. Only thing that’s similar is the mirror image dorsal fin hair.This character needs more broader shoulders (a little bit more, not too much. This is Tatmtar’s sibling through cultural marriage. They are in a cultural marriage with Tatmtar’s brother basically. They used to date Zhan when in school but they had a mildly bad breakup when Zhan didn’t want to marry them (😂). Anywho, they are not Adis (based on those clothes) but they like to wear clothes of their heritage.Expect to see more interaction pictures of characters and redrawings of each and everyone. These characters are more around the main character’s ages and are in their paths and they stories and drama around them. I don’t want to make one overarching story, because I didn’t really like doing that with these characters. However, I do enjoy writing and it’ll always come to that in the future.
Drawing can be rewarding but it’s also something I hide from at times. Sometimes I hide from putting characters out here. I mean, they are as they are.
Anyway, it was nice talking to you. Happy End of February. See you. Make sure to get good rest and stay hydrated and healthy.
A flame was lit, it was lit with a match. Lit so it could keep the group warm. But it was short-lived.
The flame couldn’t keep the two warm, and since it couldn’t, the group froze. They didn’t know what to do anymore.
I don’t know really what to say…I received the big ol burnout. Always at this time of the year for classes. I moved my art supplies closer to me so I can still do them, but the passion is dead.
Why?
Because I’m struggling drawing bodies. It doesn’t make me want to stop drawing, it just makes me sad and not want to draw. I don’t have a particular style I’m going for, nor am I going for realism, but they’re just not going how I want. I really want to draw bodies for my characters, but failing is stressing me out. Failing isn’t scary, but it’s disappointing.
As well, it feels so stupid to post time and time because I’m not sure if I’m posting anything of value. I literally cannot bring myself to elaborate more on my ocs. 😔 Not because they’re bad, but I’m an artist and I assume people want to see visual art and not blocks of text. Anytime it’s about a character there’s so much more interactions but I don’t want to keep blasting people with on and on character profiles and no interactions with characters or anything, but I don’t feel like I can draw enough and I bit out more than I can chew. My art style fluctuates in quality too often.
I literally (as I’m not figuratively, literally!) almost had a meltdown over this whole thing. This is out of my comfort zone. Drawing two people together and making them look like they’re apart of the same picture. I know I should do it more, but this picture is exhausting and I got Noje’s dorsal part incorrect. (Should be flipped—that’s my bad)
Both of them look stiff and stale. Feyondo is a pain for me to draw as well. Any time I draw him, I believe a little part of me dies. His design has to look like that though because! It cannot look any other way or that’s not him!
But I know I’m burned out because I’m hiding from doing anything. Even the stuff I love because it looks terrible to me.
However!
The good news with all this is that if you’re turned off by your art, it means you might be improving and gaining insight that you need to change something or study something else, but also take a break.☺️ I’m not going to take a physical break just yet, because I have assignments to do, but I will be taking a break.
I will be taking my disgust with the way I draw bodies and the stiffness of figures (which usually isn’t that much of a problem, I just kinda want them to not be too janky). As well as draw two or more people interacting with each other.😮💨😭
The older I get and the more I get into political issues, the more frustrated I get and the more things bug me or don’t feel worth it to talk about. One of them is identity politics. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel like they’re bad or anything, I just find them to be stressful and responses and anger from people are difficult to help or cope with. I don’t think anyone wants to purposely be offensive or make everyone uncomfortable, and for me…I don’t run on spite. At all.
I understand that I’m speaking US politics, so if you aren’t from the US, don’t worry. It’s just not your politics (but you may subscribe to them.)
So, what I mean is that some of my characters go under different brackets of LGBT and queer identities. Some are easier to explain and some aren’t. I don’t want to ever feel like I’m pushing the politics down people’s throats or forcing them to see something they don’t want to see…
The thing about identity, is that that’s the driving force of a lot of people’s personalities and nurture. For example, I’m a Black American. It doesn’t define my personality in a way that makes me act a particular way, but it adds nuances to my actions. For example, if you look at my characters and how they’re designed (I believe), you may be able to tell. You may not, oh well. It gives a big outlook on people’s artwork. I’m also in the B and T region in the LGBT, this affects my characters. Some of them are trans, some of them are cis. Some are straight, gay, bisexual, or some kind of nuance.
Another identity politic is neurodivergency and mental illness. This one is a lot more complex and controversial. Some of the characters go through various different traumatic experiences and events in their lives and some of them are just born different.
I needed a picture to post on here and don’t feel like posting new art. She is not in the LGBT at all, she’s just cute.😂 The closer up you see this picture, the more visible the erased pictures are. I also always managed to leave erasures on my sheet any time I take a picture. So goofy.🤪
I want y’all to know that at a time in my life, I was very concerned with representation and identity and trying to do representation the best way possible and get everyone in, but now in my life my characters are written as they are. Their identities are as they are and they’re important.
I am aware none of y’all asked for this post, but it’s literally been a thing stuck in my head for hours on hours and days on days.
How do I acknowledge my characters for how they are? I understand that people could be offended and will be offended, but how do I write and explain these characters in a way that isn’t preachy, strange, or awkward?
I’m not going to write a list saying all my LGBT characters or explain the fantasy human races because firstly, that’s a lot of work, and secondly I don’t think that’s necessary. You’ll see more interaction posts with characters and maybe I’ll feel comfortable enough to write about them.
I’m not shy at all, but I get nervous and frustrated and I’m still trying to get rid of my SM personality and people pleasing tendencies. It’s like me getting uncomfortable writing in other languages because there’s usually an identity tied underneath it and personality and culture tied underneath that I feel like I’m impeding on. It’s ridiculous because so many people with different cultures and backgrounds write in English, but I still feel like a bad person doing it. For example, if you don’t know what I’m talking about. Spanish. I’m learning Spanish, and I feel like I’m impeding on Spanish speakers cultures and identities by writing stories and content in Spanish—even though I’m not writing about any ethnic groups or culture or anything. It goes into the other languages I’m trying to learn. (and this has nothing to do about cultural appropriation, I’m not whining about that.)
Practicing my watercolor and drawing skills. If it looks janky, it looks janky. It’s progress.
Standing there, Standing right there, Composure upright, looking straight ahead.
No tears, No anger, Nothing but looking.
Your ears are not aroused, are they? Your ears are not aroused. Your eyes mean nothing to you, You’re thinking.
No tears, No anger, Nothing but looking.
No thoughts of taste, Clutching your chest.
Standing there. Standing right there. Composure upright, Looking straight ahead.
Hey, y’all. I have been quite busy. Thank you so much for your patience. I just want to ramble about nothing for a while. Why? I just do. I hope it doesn’t annoy you.
Anyway, I cannot bring myself to write and draw out a huge story because of that fear. Not of failing. It’s the fear to start and not finish. I always have to plan for my own self because of my inability to follow through on things as well as burn out.
For these pictures, I was trying to design clothing designs but also just establish color designs for two very important characters. They are Noshili’s brother and sister. Reqina (/ɾe.qɪ.nə/) is the brother and Pitri (/pɪ.t̪ə.rɨ/) is the sister. Pitri is an equivalent of a queen in the state she lives in. Since she is a Revalan, she has the ability to be around very wealthy people at any given moment. She’s married to the equivalent of a king. In the state she’s from, her family has much of the power since they’re extremely wealthy and are everywhere in politics, religion, and entertainment. I mean, I based them of the Medici family, but you know…there’s tons of very powerful families everywhere that are very corrupt. She is just as corrupt as people in her family.
She loves her husband, but she was quick to marry him at sixteen because she hates her family. Since her mom was a bad drug addict and her father was arrested for beating his wife and kids as well as moving funds around from all the companies he was in, she was fostered and adopted by an Ane-Ne Najigi named Nole/Adane/Zhan that at the time, had a cultural marriage to her uncle. He was cool to her, but she couldn’t help being extremely embarrassed by his abnormal behaviors and strange appearance that she rejected him quite often. She regrets it at times, but she’s a stickler on her beliefs and refuses to change them for anyone, including family. She only has a good relationship with Reqina. She doesn’t consider Noshili/Tatmtar a real sibling since they have a different biological father (NOTE HERE: This is a character, this is not my belief. I like to make characters with different personalities, it, however, doesn’t mean I share any of their beliefs) and that they look very different (they all have similar features, Tatmtar just has darker skin and a bit different features) to her idea of family—as well, their existence ruined her mom’s marriage. She never bullies them or attacks them, she just calls them what she seems fit.
Her best traits are that she’s very close to her husband and is his crutch when he’s stressed and they both do similar roles in the family of helping and guiding their children.
They are the same age too—I hope mentioning her age doesn’t make y’all think she married an old man. She didn’t. He’s the same age as her. As well, in this culture, usually couples that get married that are sixteen years old (which is the age of consent there) have to be the same age and no younger and if they’re older, they have to be seventeen and maybe eighteen—if not, people will look at the relationship as foul and you will get slandered and harrassed or shunned.
The other picture with the red background is a drawing of a character within the Revalan family. Look…y’all…it’s hard capturing the vibe of the character. That’s his vibe. I think I will draw him again to how he actually appears when feigning stability or actually is stable. I was mostly working on facial features and drawings and being consistent with family member faces. All members that are related to Damijo biologically have very similar eyes to him and rarely deviate from that (of course, there’s exceptions). I didn’t capture that look very well, but I tried very hard. I literally forgot how I described him in my notes so if he looks drastically different next time you see him, then he looks drastically different. I like going off of what I describe characters as to keep it consistent. Usually when I like the design, the notes don’t matter. This design is a great start.
Anyway, nice seeing y’all. Thank you so much for following.
Other than nature coming after my body, being online gives me so much exhaustion and really makes me genuinely hate people or being online. The irritating thing about life is that it’s great to exist but other people are absolutely terrible.
Why do people like bringing more people here? Why?
Anyway, I’m tired of people saying there’s no jobs or AI is taking over. It’s exhausting. I hate being critically online but I feel I have nothing else. I’m tired of exhausting people and feeling bad about it later. I’m constantly told that I need particular things and need to do particular things for my life to have meaning and I can tell you, 100% that I feel like garbage. It’s probably just my sour personality. I’m the problem.
Personally I don’t care about showing my fails to people. This one was a straight fail with a good learning lesson. Laugh with me and not at me. It’s janky, y’all.I drew this one late at night (an hour or so after the one on the sheet. Holding coloring pencils funnily are terrible for my hands.I drew this in the morning. She could be ugly to people but in my opinion, her expression and look looks a bit stale (not her face)
I want to draw and color but it doesn’t bring joy and kind of makes me sad. It’s temporary, but it’s dragging my mood down.
How do you live in such a world and don’t understand a soul? Walking around aliens, Yet that’s who you are.
You isolate yourself, and choose not to understand people, as if you’re entitled to their opinion. You have no authority.
Stay in your place.
I drew this a while back, but I feel like this right now.
I’m starting this 100 faces challenge with my sister, but we took it down to a more realistic goal of 25. I have these moments of perfectionism but it never works out. It’s literally just drawing faces, and it’s not even that I’m that scared to draw faces. It’s the fact that I don’t have interest to draw serious and realistic faces but I feel like I should be doing that and because it’s what I’m supposed to do to be a real artist and serious about practicing.
I do not have the motivation and already put it off. I understand I have assignments too, but I’ve put those off. They’re supposed to be more realistic and painted well, but I just get depressed and discouraged because I know artists are supposed to leave their comfort zone…but it’s not a fun way of doing it.😂
So, I am trying to problem solve at this particular moment. I probably will just draw my ocs. 🤷🏾 (OC means original character) I don’t feel like stressing on it and they do not have depth to their faces nor need depth.
Anyway, I got some art for y’all! 😁😁😁 It always makes me so excited to share my art with people and it surprises me genuinely that people actually look at it, even if they don’t like it!
Vara. She is an adult actress and a model. She’s not necessarily a porn star, but she performs in very erotic movies and art house type of stuff. She’s a Najigi and had plastic surgery on her face and body to look more appropriate but she kept her skin color which I was too lazy to color in.This is (filler name for the character on the left) David and (actual name) for the character on the right) Tijana. David is the father of Tijana and an adoptive father of Damijo. [Since it’s supposed to mimic an area with multiple languages and cultures, each name has spelling rules or whatever but I didn’t make a script so you can’t tell, but Tijana may look like a girl’s name to you, but it’s not supposed to. Neither is Damijo. Just have to clear it up for people.]
Anyway, Vara is drawn in a way that I think is so cute but her face reminds me of someone who I cannot think about at the moment. Vara has visible scarification all over her body, much like Noje, to show her family line and also catch prey with the glow. She also has a straight wig on. Personally, I just liked reading about how women (celebrities usually) back around the 60s-70s wore big, bulky wigs. Vara doesn’t have that curly of hair, but the rules on the set say she’s only allowed to have her hair covered, so a wig is a work around because it doesn’t show her real scalp. I also really like Renaissance hairstyles so I made it bulky like a beehive but shaped like a renaissance lady (without the ridiculous amount of braids)
This isn’t the best picture and I’ll have to work on my anatomy and gesture but she’s dancing here in an outfit that shows her under boob but not anything else. She’s wearing leggings to protect the goods and a skirt to accentuate her hips and movements. She’s shaking her hips and doing some kinda gesture but most of her dance is footwork and hip shaking.
David and Tijana are both socialites from a plutocratic family group named Revalan. They’re both harmless, but definitely benefit off of their wealth. Their family members, however, are very corrupt and is some of the reasons why certain people are scared to be alive or so on. I hate to write too much about these characters on one post so I won’t. I love both of their designs and skin tones but I wish I drew and colored them better. Tijana is a darker color and isn’t well colored to see that. He’s around Damijo’s color who is a bit darker than that.
Michelangelo, Sistine Chapel. (Anyone know what the name is?)
When you paint, Do you dream? Do you create? is this your reality? What you see?
I love your art, They look like refrigerators. I love most Mannerism art, but yours is the best. I appreciate your creativity.
And who is this? Is this your beliefs? I’ll never know, but I love the energy.
I literally have no content for y’all but I want to post so I’ll find something.
Anywho!
I gotta redraw him, I hate how this looks. There’s like 500 characters in my sketchbook that look like this. He has to look different. At least slightly. I have to change it. He doesn’t look like the character in my head but the character in my head doesn’t look like anything. I can only see straightened hair and occasionally waves. He’s supposed to look like another character that one character likes but I don’t think I can do that anymore.
Soft complexity, you knew how you should treat people, under two gods—one going extinct and the other flourishing. You have a heart that’s like a puzzle piece—NO! Not a puzzle piece, a sandbox. Or a river connected to an ocean that cannot handle what comes in and out. Porous mind, weak internal, strong external. Permeating consciousness.
Your childhood god is the same as your adulthood. Your birth culture was your reality, You’re learning, taking away, taking in. No longer bound to a culture.
Soft complexity, take care of yourself. Cry it off and move on.
I know I should be drawing and not writing down poetry but I’m 😩
Do you know where you are? Nobody can read your thoughts, Understand your messages.
You can talk as fancy or as uncouth as you want. You are incomprehensible.
It causes you to wonder your place, where you should truly be. What you should truly be, Who you should truly be.
Forge your own. You have a multitude of realities, one life. Let yourself sink into the ocean. That may be your comfort, your hospice, your refuge. It’ll light your way. (;
Author’s Note: This isn’t about suicide. At all.😭 Just to clear it up.
As you know, I’m practicing on stylizing and I spoke about the frustrations of styling characters and leaving out features to make the drawing process faster. I did basically a sequential outline on how I want the characters to move or whatever it’s a struggle still, but less of a struggle. The characters here are in their late twenties but you wouldn’t know that because it’s hard to discern their age (I mean, I struggle with that in general) and give them a defining quality. Some people know how to make eyes look so beautiful and uniquely drawn with beautiful expressions. I can give expressions but the eyes are kinda not giving.
Anyway, the drawing inconsistencies are laziness and impatience. It was truly a headache to draw it this way, but it wasn’t terrible.
On the image above, there are two characters—Neloni/Damijo and Sadorno/Madenna. They’re getting married. This scene is before the wedding. If you can’t read my handwriting, let me know. Anyway, they’re a hot mess. I wanted to capture their typical expressions and how the characters move. Damijo fidgets and rocks a lot when he moves and is known to pace and not stand still. Sadorno is a very internal person and her movements are more stiff but dramatic—especially when she’s in her angry or guilt tripping mode. She’s swift and sharp.
Sadorno/MadennaNeloni/DamijoHere are the characters with more details on their faces. Sorry the picture of Neloni isn’t colored, I cannot establish a skin tone for him. He’s darker than Sadorno but not as dark as his child Nashali or even as dark as Noshili.
I’ll show you further why it’s difficult for me to simplify characters—the point I made last time I post.
Noshili and Reqina (left to right)NoshiliClockwise: Noshili, Reqina/Nadoni, Damijo/NeloniLook y’all…these are done on ok paper so I get ok results! Do not come for me! As well, I know my character’s faces change a lot…but I can’t help it! It’s one of the best and worst qualities of art. As well, I’m covering up a horribly done curly haired version of Noshili. Noshili and Nadoni have very curly four type hair. I’d post it on here, but I need to draw it better.
I’m so excited that school is starting back up again for me! I’ve made a palette and collected my ideas for my new projects. I will still take out my time to post on here.
Here’s my palette! It’s not a diverse or “useful” palette but its fun to paint with. I don’t like painting with things just because they’re useful and realistic. I like painting with stuff because it’s fun and interesting. Figuring out what is interesting and nice to me is what I prefer.
I also am still trying to figure out places to post a comic/sequential art without having to worry about it being digital only. I don’t know that many and I still have to figure out what is the best site.
I’m also really really excited for some new purchases and mixtures and hope they do well.
Sorry about my handwriting. Here’s Noshili and Atane meeting each other.
Anyway, I’m trying to find a convenient style for making comics. I get tired easily and when I plan stuff, I have to do it immediately or there’s a chance I won’t get to it after a while. So! I’m trying to simplify. The easier part is that it’s easy to make silhouettes and shapes with my characters, the difficult part is abstracting them and capturing their age.
A lot of my characters vaguely have very similar features and the things I’m taking away from them to abstract them are their defining features. For example, Noshili, and two characters Neloni and Nadoni. They have different lips but their eyes are exactly the same as they’re all related. They all have different postures and stances and different skin colors and hair but it would be very hard to capture that without seeing their whole face. I know it’s not gonna be that big of a deal, but I don’t want to get made fun of for same face syndrome!
As for other qualities, eh. I think they’ll be fine. I just have to work on gestures and showing emotions.
It’s not on watercolor paper but I am not a purist so I don’t care.
I’ve also been testing acrylics (not even appropriate ones—oops!) to try out with watercolors and they’re honestly the best. The thing is, they add a texture to the watercolors but when they’re thinned down and don’t have that nasty plastic flavor to it, they actually are able to have watercolors be painted on top. They aren’t resoluble though so while they can be lifted while wet, they’re not going to rewet and you can’t lift afterwards. It kinda solves my glazing problem to an extent. I want to do watercolor portraits that have vague qualities to old master paintings or have that energy but nothing is similar to it. These help a lot. I’ve also found a deep love for ultramarine. My heart and soul go to ultramarine (for now) and I love how it looks. If you know me, I used to hate royal blue and colors that look like it (not to anything that has to do with sports teams or anything, just hated it) but watercolors made me love it.
There are some colors that are perfect for being the main focus in paintings and that’s ultramarine blue and violet right now for some. As of now, I try to do focal points with colors that are important to each character. For example, Noje is a big fan of yellow so if I had her on a painting, that would be her focal point, but if I had Feyondo on there, his focal point would be blue.
The reason why I don’t elaborate sometimes on colors because they change and typically when it comes to some characters and their “soulmates” they always have complementary colors on the additive spectrum. However, with paints, that’s not additive and is more subtractive so these can change. I do not have an exact color for them, just a color family. It has something to do with their dreamstate/micosi /mɨ.kɔ.si/.
I am so excited to share more with y’all about more stuff!☺️ As well, my wattpad account is on my homepage. 🙂
Another study to see how much I can simplify. It was kinda difficult drawing these characters fast as possible but it wasn’t difficult to get their energy and movements as well as line qualities. The actual look is a little 😬. As well, this is Noshili and Atane again.
So, I hope to do a monthly check on this, but for this year, I have goals. Small goals.
1. Make a blogger with art stuff on it
2. Start cleaning my computer and phone to prepare for videos
3. Start developing sketches for sketchbook tours
4. Draw more (this one is literally vague on purpose as it’s more of a vibe and not a particular goal. I want to feel like I draw more) and try to be more on theme with the story or try to start a comic or do some pages of sequential art.
5. Update this account more often. (And I mean having at least 52 posts)
6. Find an audience on here.
7. Write and finish my Wattpad story. (😭) I write updates and not writing and editing.
8. I forgot what I was putting here.😂
Here’s some paintings I’ve done recently using two mediums using watercolor and acrylic—two water-based mediums. The one picture in the bottom is a Leonardo da Vinci sketch that I painted over. (Clearly I redrew it bc it’s not as good as the OG.)A sketch by Leonardo da Vinci that I used. I don’t know what it’s named but it’s easy to find online.All unfinished with inconsistencies and various levels of laziness. The one on the top was trying to use the same palette to draw two characters without trying to perfect it. It is Feyondo and Noje. The one on the bottom was supposed to a self portrait of Noshili’s partner Atane but he included Noshili who is looking into the camera and slightly frowning and staring. I doubt I’d finish it because I didn’t draw Noshili well in it. Atane looks slightly bigger because I have to make up for his huge eyes (he is a Najigi), I do not like the gestures of Atane either and probably will restart! 😊
Some characters are more difficult to explain and require a lot more effort to make a post on.
Feyondo is one of the main characters of the storyline I’ve been writing about at the moment. I will try to have new formatting for this character to make it easy to read.
I didn’t want to post him anytime soon because he’s ridiculously hard to draw consistently, but I’m posting it because he’s the second character I created over five years ago when I made this storyline.
If you know me for long enough, my aesthetic gears to more feminine looking people and this includes men. He’s supposed to be very hippy and fat (I didn’t show it because I was too busy worried about his silhouette and trying to make it masculine as possible) but it’s not depicted well here because I was too worried about other things. It is extremely hard for me have characters like him because I know what he looks like vs how I want to draw him. I know cis men (usually) aren’t shaped like this, but this character is shaped like this and it’s his ethological body shape and if he looks like a woman, dang, but 🤷🏾 he has this body and it’s a bit dumpy but it is what it is.
Feyondo /fe.jən.d̪ɔ/ (This is pronounced like Feh-yun-dou, the ou as though) is a tall, light skinned man with features that are mildly ambiguous to both ethnic groups he’s apart of—the original Nini groups and Bamy culture. He is considered biracial because the Bamy people do not consider themselves to be the same face as the Nini groups. He is, however, two types of Adish and Jinhi.
Iterations of his name are typically Ondo, but some characters call him Fey. His legal name is Zhan /ɮɑ̃/. I have yet to develop the translation of his last name, so he has no last name as of now!
In relation to himself and his family
“Backstory”
Feyondo was born from a teen mom named Magbagi /mʊ.ɡ͜bɒ.ɡɨ/ with very risky behaviors that aren’t well thought through and he wonders what goes through her head. These traits go to him, but in different ways.
Feyondo’s mom ran away her house out of frustration and discomfort and had a trip to Haden and had a one night stand with a man named Hadorinal /ħa.ðɔ.ɾi.nɑl/ and after she came back, she had Zhan. She does not like her child.
The thing with racial politics in the area is that if a person’s paternal grandparent isn’t a “citizen” of Bamygdala, then they aren’t a citizen there. (Of course, other groups are different) Magbabi hated that Zhan wasn’t a citizen after he turned a particular age was upset but just neglected him and would abandon him at times for men or hanging out with friends or just push him into a room with toys and brought people over.
Around the age of five, one of Magbabi’s boyfriends convinced her to adopt a child that he found and she did it to improve their relationship. Their relationship didn’t last after that and Adelewe, her new child, belonged to her legally and was liable for them.
Frequently, Magbabi abandoned her kids at the main religious area (I have listed in my stories as congregation, but it’s just an equivalent of a church, mosque, or a synagogue) instead of having them at home and getting in her way when she’s looking for guys or hanging with her friends but after a year, children weren’t allowed to just sit in there for long hours (without a parent or guardian) after a scandal happened.
When Zhan was still five (but later into five), Magbabi found a boyfriend at the park when she was taking her kids out to the park and saw that he looked like he needed some help and he was dirty but seemed nice and let him in to her life. After that, she let that guy move in which he’d abuse Feyondo and Adelewe in all means possible when he’d have a break down or would get angry with them for existing—this kind of made Zhan her.
If Zhan ever reported it to her, she wouldn’t believe it or think he was trying to steal her man or her attention and guilt tripped him badly or would fuss at him and call him a whore.
Around six, his mom took him and Adelewe to the park so they could find friends because she felt somewhat guilty that she could be a bad parent. They find Tatmtar(tuh-tum-tar /t̪ɑ.t̪m.ʈɑ.ɾ/) and their dad—also named Zhan—there with their coworker—Lupita (I am very aware this looks like Spanish girl name Lupita and if you see it as that, don’t blame you! Pronounce this like ruh-pih-thuh or /ɾʊ.pɪ.ðɐ/) and his son—Chebet (/ɬə.ʋet̪/ shuh-vet but that v also sounds like a w!) who listens to the two when they talk about Magbabi in their relationship which offends her greatly and frustrates her and she abandons them with Lupita and later relinquishes her rights. They get adopted by Lupita, who fortunately isn’t creepy or irritating but he’s paranoid and strict.
Familial relationships (as in immediate and not family that is friends)
His legal dad (Lupita)
Feyondo has a complex relationship with his dad. Feyondo feels like Lupita is a great protector and nice to go to, but he still just doesn’t have the same level of trust in Lupita should have because he feels like he could randomly hate him or stop loving him or abandon him. Feyondo enjoys activities with Lupita like watching movies or shows and they have very similar music tastes and movies they watch. They also love talking about the same celebrities and actors and actresses. Feyondo respects Lupita and loves his attention in doses.
His sibling (Adelewe)
They can have a rocky relationship at times or a very close bond. Adelewe is older than him by some months so he looks up them, but at the same time, he’ll get upset by the attention that Adelewe gets and will lash out on them or bully them because he thinks he won’t get any. They have similar politics and ideas but disagree on small issues and get into full on arguments that cause Feyondo to isolate himself and pout. Other times, they’re very close and Feyondo will feel lonely or anxious when not around Adelewe (and will look for them or cry). They enjoy shopping with each other or Feyondo enjoys getting their hair done by Adelewe and won’t mind if they want him to sit and model for artwork or use them to put makeup on. Feyondo thinks Adelewe is a great sibling and appreciates them.
His brother (Chebet)
Feyondo feels like Chebet is cool, but he’s much older than Feyondo by ten years and isn’t always around due to his career. Chebet is similar but vastly different than Lupita and has a much shier but kinder personality.
His bio mom (Magbabi)
His relationship with Magbabi is intense and full of shame. He blames himself with why she abandoned him and Adelewe and sees it as he just wasn’t the right look, didn’t act how she wanted, and just was born a burden and an inconvenience. He also hates her because she dated one of his abusers and instead of taking his side, slandered him for what he didn’t want or she’d just be rude to him. While he’ll never really talk bad about her, he’ll have moments of psychosis where he’ll start yelling and screaming to himself everything he remembers that she said over and over until he gets upset.
His biological dad (Hadorinal)
He thinks his biological dad is goofy and very immature and ditsy but he thinks he’s alright, he just has a grudge with him not being there. (Even though Hadorinal wasn’t aware Magbabi had a child nor lived in the same country or close to the state Feyondo lived.) He is the one who named Feyondo Feyondo. (Feyondo is a later used name that Zhan used to get closer to his father’s culture.)
The grandpa (will update later, losing steam 😭)
I wanted to make an equivalent to an honorable mentions by listing other family members that come in later.
Lupita’s husband (I don’t have his name and will edit it later) is cool to Feyondo and he finds him extremely nice and comforting and enjoys being around him because he gives a lot of respect and space. Lupita’s husband dated and married Lupita when Feyondo was an teen to an adult, when he found out about Lupita’s husband, he’s an adult. Another mention is Mals, Hadorinal’s spouse. Feyondo finds Mals very interesting and pretty and enjoys hanging out with him and talking about random topics or ideas. Mals also is the type that acts broke constantly so he’ll come over and hang out with Feyondo instead of taking him somewhere and buying food or buying him gifts.
Friends (that are like family!)
Flurisha
Feyondo finds Flurisha extremely attractive and very cool and enjoys being around him. He thinks Flurisha makes him feel cuter and smart. He also thinks Flurisha is smart, and when he was younger, he had a massive crush on Flurisha and wanted to date them badly. Now that they’re older (and Flurisha is with Adelewe), they are more flirty or act attention seeking at times or purposely start an argument to get attention but won’t pursue them romantically. They both won’t hesitate to hug or share a bed with each other or sit on each other’s laps or chat about stupid things. Feyondo considers Flurisha a very great friend and respects him but easily gets irritated with him.
Typical with things, I will be updating this as I go along. (25/01/2023)
Trust the process. Showing progress pictures of the character Nejame and his jet-black skin.Designing wedding and everyday coats for Adelewe. The left outfit is for Bamy culture and the other is their conversion religion Ne. The outfit is a wedding outfit for their gender.A swimming outfit design for Adelewe (for Bamy culture!)
Mimesis of the artists either means you’re immortal or your livelihood is stolen. in the Renaissance, a human God. A master worthy of being worshipped as if he was more than, A hero.
it doesn’t seem like some people care, to wonder what makes art of the master’s beautiful. Or even what makes it good to them.
Mimesis. Your stuff is worth remixing, Worth putting in an allegorical concepts… Worth remixing and rematching.
Others don’t matter unless they have that.
Could anyone be a master? Or was this destined by a god, deity, evil religious figure. Why do people make Biblicalesque stories and documentaries And people willingly watch them, Feeling some kind of connection.
Why do masters feel fake? As they never existed… How can someone deny a god, but worship the essence of a man they don’t know and never will know and imply a person into them? Am I simply r———, Or did I miss out on something else?
That I’m to study these artists, That there’s an objective truth. That I’m supposed to like these artists no questions asked. That their skills, talents, and whatevers are actual objective truths, instead of opinions from those who hold my soul and other’s souls captive.
I question myself… Why do I care? Imitation is the highest form of flattery.
I like posting my art on here because I don’t have to source. Completely irrelevant to the post, but it’s fine. I don’t care.
but is it possible to go back to the old things, not the good things, the bad?
and reimagine them as the good they once were, the happiness it gave, the sadness it sheltered.
the bad art that was made… can I clear my mind to remember what it once was? it is reasonable to think it is bad because I was told to do better and it moved my heart, causing it to writhe…my eyes glew up with the idea this person wants to help me, they know the bad, they can help me.
But did they? I can’t seem to draw a picture without hearing critiques, never bad, just mindfulness, but never enjoying the task anymore and wanting this perfection.
A teacher cannot teach me perfection, itdoesn’t exist. Yet, it does. It exists as much as race, religion, government, gender, sex, control. It has to exist…but I don’t like it. My liking doesn’t matter, there are important things.
I don’t exist as an individual, I never have. everything but.
I am a product, A statistic, A follower, A mistake, an Idiot.
Never something as my own.
My opinions only ruin people’s days, but rarely change them. I have no influence. I could disappear, and the only thing that would be sad is that I’m dead or hurt, but it doesn’t matter. cry about the issue and not the person.
And when someone becomes my product, my statistic, my follower, another mistake, and another idiot under me…
well, I’ll still be nothing.
Old art from three-four years ago. It feels like looking at a completely different person referencing a different thing and the only reason why it’s terrible because it isn’t abstract enough, realistic enough, finished enough, or enough in general.
I wonder when I dream about someone if that someone sees me in their dream, what’s the point of doing all that dreaming, if it leads to me thinking and remembering those I vowed to forget in my reality.
I question my mind. it is a privilege to remember, but when I want to forget, it all comes back nicely wrapped in a dream.
Never important things, homework, medication, basic self care…
Just faces, bodies, of people who never seem to care about me or remember me.
I just find that upsetting.
It would make sense to leave a writer’s/author’s note. I’ve been looking at some people’s accounts and they do it, but I didn’t know if it was worth it. Is it worth it?
I know it doesn’t look like Lisa Gherardini («Monna Lisa») but it’s her in profile with some interesting clothes on drawn for something else entirelyI cut open some watercolors so I wouldn’t waste them. It was annoyingly messy but here is the result. Color harmony is cool, I guess.Here’s some sketches/watercolor doodles
This content may be triggering to people with dead loved ones or issues with reality. Please take care of yourself and avoid this post. I don’t mind you avoiding this.
Here’s a sketch by me. I was trying out braids. 🙂
Here’s a picture if you want to see one. Have a nice one.👁️👁️
What did you bring to the potluck? 