Category: artwork

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about me artwork Rants and Rambles

Identity Politics and stress

The older I get and the more I get into political issues, the more frustrated I get and the more things bug me or don’t feel worth it to talk about. One of them is identity politics. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel like they’re bad or anything, I just find them to be stressful and responses and anger from people are difficult to help or cope with. I don’t think anyone wants to purposely be offensive or make everyone uncomfortable, and for me…I don’t run on spite. At all.

I understand that I’m speaking US politics, so if you aren’t from the US, don’t worry. It’s just not your politics (but you may subscribe to them.)

So, what I mean is that some of my characters go under different brackets of LGBT and queer identities. Some are easier to explain and some aren’t. I don’t want to ever feel like I’m pushing the politics down people’s throats or forcing them to see something they don’t want to see…

The thing about identity, is that that’s the driving force of a lot of people’s personalities and nurture. For example, I’m a Black American. It doesn’t define my personality in a way that makes me act a particular way, but it adds nuances to my actions. For example, if you look at my characters and how they’re designed (I believe), you may be able to tell. You may not, oh well. It gives a big outlook on people’s artwork. I’m also in the B and T region in the LGBT, this affects my characters. Some of them are trans, some of them are cis. Some are straight, gay, bisexual, or some kind of nuance.

Another identity politic is neurodivergency and mental illness. This one is a lot more complex and controversial. Some of the characters go through various different traumatic experiences and events in their lives and some of them are just born different.

I needed a picture to post on here and don’t feel like posting new art. She is not in the LGBT at all, she’s just cute.😂 The closer up you see this picture, the more visible the erased pictures are. I also always managed to leave erasures on my sheet any time I take a picture. So goofy.🤪

I want y’all to know that at a time in my life, I was very concerned with representation and identity and trying to do representation the best way possible and get everyone in, but now in my life my characters are written as they are. Their identities are as they are and they’re important.

I am aware none of y’all asked for this post, but it’s literally been a thing stuck in my head for hours on hours and days on days.

How do I acknowledge my characters for how they are? I understand that people could be offended and will be offended, but how do I write and explain these characters in a way that isn’t preachy, strange, or awkward?

I’m not going to write a list saying all my LGBT characters or explain the fantasy human races because firstly, that’s a lot of work, and secondly I don’t think that’s necessary. You’ll see more interaction posts with characters and maybe I’ll feel comfortable enough to write about them.

I’m not shy at all, but I get nervous and frustrated and I’m still trying to get rid of my SM personality and people pleasing tendencies. It’s like me getting uncomfortable writing in other languages because there’s usually an identity tied underneath it and personality and culture tied underneath that I feel like I’m impeding on. It’s ridiculous because so many people with different cultures and backgrounds write in English, but I still feel like a bad person doing it. For example, if you don’t know what I’m talking about. Spanish. I’m learning Spanish, and I feel like I’m impeding on Spanish speakers cultures and identities by writing stories and content in Spanish—even though I’m not writing about any ethnic groups or culture or anything. It goes into the other languages I’m trying to learn. (and this has nothing to do about cultural appropriation, I’m not whining about that.)

Anyway, I’ll see y’all! Thank you for listening.

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artwork Stories The Framework Characters of Qoot!

Story for y’all

Y’all, I’m feeling stressed out and today, so I’m going to post, but I’ll just give y’all a written out story. Hope you like it, I’m an visual artist before a literati or a writer.😣

As well, some of the stuff here is cultural specific and language specific and since I’m monolingual and unable to speak anything other than English, I will just use English to express their language. Bear with me.

(As well, how my character’s talk is how they talk, I do not talk like this. Thank you.😉)

Left to Right: Atane/ (I don’t have established spellings yet but his name is like Ankweda /ɑ̃.kʷe.ɾə/ [un-kweh-ra but say it like a d if you’re from the US and if you’re Spanish speaking say it like the end of nadar. I’m not sure about other languages, but it’s basically a tap trill]but I’m not a fan of the spelling) and Noshili/Tatmtar

Tatmtar and Ankweda are sitting together on the couch. Tatmtar is sitting with herbal on their hand and thinking about absolutely nothing like usual with a movie on. Ankweda is looking around at random objects in Tatmtar’s family home and gets curious. They pick up some things that Tatmtar confiscates and puts back away causing them to get bored and try to chat.

“Hey, Tatm,” Ankweda said feeling anxious to talk. “You invited me over to hang out, but we aren’t talking…so, are we watching stuff on the monitor together or are we talking?”

Tatmtar sighed and flipped their hair and pushed it back behind their ear with a quick movement. They had very dark black hair that in some lighting looked very black the point it broke reality and other times was so black it shined purple.

“Why I got to talk to you for?” Tatmtar asked aggressively. “You can’t just enjoy my company?”

Ankweda rubbed his neck and did an uncomfortable chuckle; he watched Tatmtar sip their tea. Ankweda didn’t want to watch the movie on the monitor and in fact, he didn’t like Tatmtar’s choices much and thought they had poor taste in films.

“Tatmtar, I enjoy your company a lot,” Ankweda replied, putting his arm around Tatmtar. “But, it would be even better if we talked instead of just sit around. Why don’t we talk about the person on the wall?”

Tatmtar was fuming with anger and frustration. They wanted to watch the movie, not chat! They glared and side-eyed Ankweda. They thought Ankweda rambled too much about nothing and just wanted to be near them without talking.

They groaned and rolled their eyes again and put their tea on the floor and pouted.

“Damn, boy,” Tatmtar fussed. “For what?! I literally don’t want to hear you ramble. I love you and all, dude, but shit…why can’t you just shut the hell up and watch the damn movie?! For fuck’s sake!”

Ankweda felt very uncomfortable and didn’t feel angry but he was mildly scared. Tatmtar ignored them and pouted. Ankweda sighed and sat closer to them and just glanced on the monitor for a second and laid his head on Tatmtar’s lap and played games on the monitor on his necklace. He twisted his little, black ringlets with his fingers and thought he’d ask again in a minute.

Continue reading “Story for y’all”
Categories
artwork Character building, but not anything specific Stories

Standing there

Practicing my watercolor and drawing skills. If it looks janky, it looks janky. It’s progress.
Standing there,
Standing right there,
Composure upright,
looking straight ahead.

No tears,
No anger,
Nothing but looking.

Your ears are not aroused, are they?
Your ears are not aroused.
Your eyes mean nothing to you,
You’re thinking. 

No tears,
No anger,
Nothing but looking.

No thoughts of taste,
Clutching your chest.

Standing there.
Standing right there.
Composure upright,
Looking straight ahead.

Hey, y’all. I have been quite busy. Thank you so much for your patience. I just want to ramble about nothing for a while. Why? I just do. I hope it doesn’t annoy you.

Anyway, I cannot bring myself to write and draw out a huge story because of that fear. Not of failing. It’s the fear to start and not finish. I always have to plan for my own self because of my inability to follow through on things as well as burn out.

For these pictures, I was trying to design clothing designs but also just establish color designs for two very important characters. They are Noshili’s brother and sister. Reqina (/ɾe.qɪ.nə/) is the brother and Pitri (/pɪ.t̪ə.rɨ/) is the sister. Pitri is an equivalent of a queen in the state she lives in. Since she is a Revalan, she has the ability to be around very wealthy people at any given moment. She’s married to the equivalent of a king. In the state she’s from, her family has much of the power since they’re extremely wealthy and are everywhere in politics, religion, and entertainment. I mean, I based them of the Medici family, but you know…there’s tons of very powerful families everywhere that are very corrupt. She is just as corrupt as people in her family.

She loves her husband, but she was quick to marry him at sixteen because she hates her family. Since her mom was a bad drug addict and her father was arrested for beating his wife and kids as well as moving funds around from all the companies he was in, she was fostered and adopted by an Ane-Ne Najigi named Nole/Adane/Zhan that at the time, had a cultural marriage to her uncle. He was cool to her, but she couldn’t help being extremely embarrassed by his abnormal behaviors and strange appearance that she rejected him quite often. She regrets it at times, but she’s a stickler on her beliefs and refuses to change them for anyone, including family. She only has a good relationship with Reqina. She doesn’t consider Noshili/Tatmtar a real sibling since they have a different biological father (NOTE HERE: This is a character, this is not my belief. I like to make characters with different personalities, it, however, doesn’t mean I share any of their beliefs) and that they look very different (they all have similar features, Tatmtar just has darker skin and a bit different features) to her idea of family—as well, their existence ruined her mom’s marriage. She never bullies them or attacks them, she just calls them what she seems fit.

Her best traits are that she’s very close to her husband and is his crutch when he’s stressed and they both do similar roles in the family of helping and guiding their children.

They are the same age too—I hope mentioning her age doesn’t make y’all think she married an old man. She didn’t. He’s the same age as her. As well, in this culture, usually couples that get married that are sixteen years old (which is the age of consent there) have to be the same age and no younger and if they’re older, they have to be seventeen and maybe eighteen—if not, people will look at the relationship as foul and you will get slandered and harrassed or shunned.

The other picture with the red background is a drawing of a character within the Revalan family. Look…y’all…it’s hard capturing the vibe of the character. That’s his vibe. I think I will draw him again to how he actually appears when feigning stability or actually is stable. I was mostly working on facial features and drawings and being consistent with family member faces. All members that are related to Damijo biologically have very similar eyes to him and rarely deviate from that (of course, there’s exceptions). I didn’t capture that look very well, but I tried very hard. I literally forgot how I described him in my notes so if he looks drastically different next time you see him, then he looks drastically different. I like going off of what I describe characters as to keep it consistent. Usually when I like the design, the notes don’t matter. This design is a great start.

Anyway, nice seeing y’all. Thank you so much for following.

Categories
about me artwork Rants and Rambles

I’m absolutely exhausted

Other than nature coming after my body, being online gives me so much exhaustion and really makes me genuinely hate people or being online. The irritating thing about life is that it’s great to exist but other people are absolutely terrible.

Why do people like bringing more people here? Why?

Anyway, I’m tired of people saying there’s no jobs or AI is taking over. It’s exhausting. I hate being critically online but I feel I have nothing else. I’m tired of exhausting people and feeling bad about it later. I’m constantly told that I need particular things and need to do particular things for my life to have meaning and I can tell you, 100% that I feel like garbage. It’s probably just my sour personality. I’m the problem.

Personally I don’t care about showing my fails to people. This one was a straight fail with a good learning lesson. Laugh with me and not at me. It’s janky, y’all.
I drew this one late at night (an hour or so after the one on the sheet. Holding coloring pencils funnily are terrible for my hands.
I drew this in the morning. She could be ugly to people but in my opinion, her expression and look looks a bit stale (not her face)

I want to draw and color but it doesn’t bring joy and kind of makes me sad. It’s temporary, but it’s dragging my mood down.

How do you live in such a world
and don’t understand a soul?
Walking around aliens,
Yet that’s who you are.

You isolate yourself,
and choose not to understand people,
as if you’re entitled to their opinion.
You have no authority.

Stay in your place.

I drew this a while back, but I feel like this right now.

😒

Categories
artwork Character building, but not anything specific Concultures Related To Qoot! OC Building and Practices

I feel like a loser

I’m starting this 100 faces challenge with my sister, but we took it down to a more realistic goal of 25. I have these moments of perfectionism but it never works out. It’s literally just drawing faces, and it’s not even that I’m that scared to draw faces. It’s the fact that I don’t have interest to draw serious and realistic faces but I feel like I should be doing that and because it’s what I’m supposed to do to be a real artist and serious about practicing.

I do not have the motivation and already put it off. I understand I have assignments too, but I’ve put those off. They’re supposed to be more realistic and painted well, but I just get depressed and discouraged because I know artists are supposed to leave their comfort zone…but it’s not a fun way of doing it.😂

So, I am trying to problem solve at this particular moment. I probably will just draw my ocs. 🤷🏾 (OC means original character) I don’t feel like stressing on it and they do not have depth to their faces nor need depth.

Anyway, I got some art for y’all! 😁😁😁 It always makes me so excited to share my art with people and it surprises me genuinely that people actually look at it, even if they don’t like it!

Vara. She is an adult actress and a model. She’s not necessarily a porn star, but she performs in very erotic movies and art house type of stuff. She’s a Najigi and had plastic surgery on her face and body to look more appropriate but she kept her skin color which I was too lazy to color in.
This is (filler name for the character on the left) David and (actual name) for the character on the right) Tijana. David is the father of Tijana and an adoptive father of Damijo. [Since it’s supposed to mimic an area with multiple languages and cultures, each name has spelling rules or whatever but I didn’t make a script so you can’t tell, but Tijana may look like a girl’s name to you, but it’s not supposed to. Neither is Damijo. Just have to clear it up for people.]

Anyway, Vara is drawn in a way that I think is so cute but her face reminds me of someone who I cannot think about at the moment. Vara has visible scarification all over her body, much like Noje, to show her family line and also catch prey with the glow. She also has a straight wig on. Personally, I just liked reading about how women (celebrities usually) back around the 60s-70s wore big, bulky wigs. Vara doesn’t have that curly of hair, but the rules on the set say she’s only allowed to have her hair covered, so a wig is a work around because it doesn’t show her real scalp. I also really like Renaissance hairstyles so I made it bulky like a beehive but shaped like a renaissance lady (without the ridiculous amount of braids)

This isn’t the best picture and I’ll have to work on my anatomy and gesture but she’s dancing here in an outfit that shows her under boob but not anything else. She’s wearing leggings to protect the goods and a skirt to accentuate her hips and movements. She’s shaking her hips and doing some kinda gesture but most of her dance is footwork and hip shaking.

David and Tijana are both socialites from a plutocratic family group named Revalan. They’re both harmless, but definitely benefit off of their wealth. Their family members, however, are very corrupt and is some of the reasons why certain people are scared to be alive or so on. I hate to write too much about these characters on one post so I won’t. I love both of their designs and skin tones but I wish I drew and colored them better. Tijana is a darker color and isn’t well colored to see that. He’s around Damijo’s color who is a bit darker than that.

Thank you in advance for reading! ^^

Categories
artwork Stories

Feeling blep

Michelangelo, Sistine Chapel. (Anyone know what the name is?)
When you paint,
Do you dream? Do you create?
is this your reality? What you see?

I love your art,
They look like refrigerators.
I love most Mannerism art, but yours is the best.
I appreciate your creativity.

And who is this? 
Is this your beliefs?
I’ll never know, but I love the energy.

I literally have no content for y’all but I want to post so I’ll find something.

Anywho!

I gotta redraw him, I hate how this looks. There’s like 500 characters in my sketchbook that look like this. He has to look different. At least slightly. I have to change it. He doesn’t look like the character in my head but the character in my head doesn’t look like anything. I can only see straightened hair and occasionally waves. He’s supposed to look like another character that one character likes but I don’t think I can do that anymore.
Soft complexity,
you knew how you should treat people,
under two gods—one going extinct and the other flourishing.
You have a heart that’s like a puzzle piece—NO! Not a puzzle piece, a sandbox. 
Or a river connected to an ocean that cannot handle what comes in and out. 
Porous mind, weak internal, strong external. Permeating consciousness.

Your childhood god is the same as your adulthood.
Your birth culture was your reality,
You’re learning, taking away, taking in.
No longer bound to a culture.

Soft complexity, take care of yourself. 
Cry it off and move on.
I know I should be drawing and not writing down poetry but I’m 😩
Do you know where you are?
Nobody can read your thoughts,
Understand your messages.

You can talk as fancy or as uncouth as you want.
You are incomprehensible.


It causes you to wonder your place, 
where you should truly be.
What you should truly be,
Who you should truly be.

Forge your own.
You have a multitude of realities,
one life.
Let yourself sink into the ocean.
That may be your comfort, your hospice, your refuge.
It’ll light your way. (;

Author’s Note: This isn’t about suicide. At all.😭 Just to clear it up.

Categories
artwork paintmaking

Art review: Jackson’s Art Pigments

You can find the pigments here. I am not an affiliate with Jackson’s nor do I have a sponsorship so I get nothing out of this at all.

I’m sorry it took a while to post this, but I wanted to test the pigments out for a while and then make a review. I don’t know how long this will be.

Heads up!

Most of my art is done in watercolors or water media that is thinned out to work like ink or watercolors, but I’m showing you colors I mixed with a watercolor binder (QOR, Schminke, or just honey). This isn’t an oil paint review nor is it an acrylic review.

Overall opinion:

I think the pigments are great, especially for their price. I am a beginner at paintmaking so I can’t tell you exactly how pigments are supposed to look or whether or not they’re good or bad.

They have some very unique colors to offer as well as generic store bought options. For example, they offer PR233 (Potter’s Pink), PG23 (Terre Verte/Green Earth), PBk19 (Slate Grey), PR259 (Ultramarine Pink).

However, be warned. These pigments seem to be fresh out the laboratory. They seem like precipitates with nothing in them.

Up to down: PR122, PG7, PB15:3

Phthalos and Quinacridones: Curse of the Flocculation

So, what you are seeing on those pictures is a mixture of brands. The paint section on the left is QOR, W&N Cotman series, and QOR, the right side is all Jackson’s pigments. These pigments surprised me. I thought I was getting a steal buying them. I really thought they were going to look one toned like the left paintings, but I was mistaken. There’s nothing inherently wrong with flocculation, in fact, it’s beautiful…however, if you’re trying to mix these pigments, they will separate in the mix.

I’m not against granulation at all, unless you’re using water, they’re like when you’re playing with sand at the beach and there’s water in it. I have genuine smalt and while they don’t have the big granule texture, they have the texture of always showing up no matter what. They ride in the water and look beautiful. I think if you’re not into color separation, you could use these for a background.

If anyone can tell me a way to mix and get the colors to mix as one or even just know the name, please leave a comment!

Benzymidazole Orange (PO36)

Benzy Orange is another one that flocculated. But I have a huge soft spot for red-orange types. You can imagine my face when I painted it on and saw it move like that. Fascinating! Literally a beautiful color (to me). I am reviewing and not giving much of an opinion, that will come shortly.

Benzy Orange moves with water. This picture is not dry so it’s easy to see it move.

I knew better with this one. PR101 (“synthetic “red oxide”) with PG23 (left, bottom) and NBr8 mixed with PB29 and PB35 mix (left, top)

This one (PR101) reminded me exactly of smalt texture, but this one had me upset! I might’ve not mulled it enough (I don’t have a muller. I use a palette knife, I don’t have mulling tools money) but dang it startled me. I actually don’t hate it. It’s just out there. I have to test my creativity with this one. It could be magnetic but I don’t have a strong magnet to test it on. It’s basically just huge iron granules and it’s so authentic that it also has that earthy red and brown undertone.🤤 Makes my paper look like I scattered dirt on it or it got moldy. Still like it though. It’s name is Transparent Oxide Brown.

Always write down what pigments are what or you’ll be like me and be unsure. I can confidently say that two PG23 are featured here, three PBr7 are here, PBk19, and mixtures are in here.
The honey was being wack, but I was trying to make a blue verditer and used the pigments listed on Daniel Smith’s page. It is PB29GS and PB35. I don’t know how I feel about it, but since I mixed it, I’m using it.
Here’s PO36 and PR101 Cadmium Red Light/Vermillion (left to right)

In general:

I think they’re fun and they’re great, but making paints is exhausting. I think these are worth the price and unless your selling and need a ton of pigment, they sell 10g, 25g, and 100g and a little goes a long way.

Categories
about me artwork Character building, but not anything specific OC Building and Practices Rants and Rambles

Ideas for stylization

As you know, I’m practicing on stylizing and I spoke about the frustrations of styling characters and leaving out features to make the drawing process faster. I did basically a sequential outline on how I want the characters to move or whatever it’s a struggle still, but less of a struggle. The characters here are in their late twenties but you wouldn’t know that because it’s hard to discern their age (I mean, I struggle with that in general) and give them a defining quality. Some people know how to make eyes look so beautiful and uniquely drawn with beautiful expressions. I can give expressions but the eyes are kinda not giving.

Anyway, the drawing inconsistencies are laziness and impatience. It was truly a headache to draw it this way, but it wasn’t terrible.

On the image above, there are two characters—Neloni/Damijo and Sadorno/Madenna. They’re getting married. This scene is before the wedding. If you can’t read my handwriting, let me know. Anyway, they’re a hot mess. I wanted to capture their typical expressions and how the characters move. Damijo fidgets and rocks a lot when he moves and is known to pace and not stand still. Sadorno is a very internal person and her movements are more stiff but dramatic—especially when she’s in her angry or guilt tripping mode. She’s swift and sharp.

Sadorno/Madenna
Neloni/Damijo
Here are the characters with more details on their faces. Sorry the picture of Neloni isn’t colored, I cannot establish a skin tone for him. He’s darker than Sadorno but not as dark as his child Nashali or even as dark as Noshili.

I’ll show you further why it’s difficult for me to simplify characters—the point I made last time I post.

Noshili and Reqina (left to right)
Noshili
Clockwise: Noshili, Reqina/Nadoni, Damijo/Neloni
Look y’all…these are done on ok paper so I get ok results! Do not come for me! As well, I know my character’s faces change a lot…but I can’t help it! It’s one of the best and worst qualities of art. As well, I’m covering up a horribly done curly haired version of Noshili. Noshili and Nadoni have very curly four type hair. I’d post it on here, but I need to draw it better.

Anyway, thanks for reading!

Categories
about me artwork Character building, but not anything specific OC Building and Practices

Fueling my excitement!

Hi!!!!

I’m so excited that school is starting back up again for me! I’ve made a palette and collected my ideas for my new projects. I will still take out my time to post on here.

Here’s my palette! It’s not a diverse or “useful” palette but its fun to paint with. I don’t like painting with things just because they’re useful and realistic. I like painting with stuff because it’s fun and interesting. Figuring out what is interesting and nice to me is what I prefer.

I also am still trying to figure out places to post a comic/sequential art without having to worry about it being digital only. I don’t know that many and I still have to figure out what is the best site.

I’m also really really excited for some new purchases and mixtures and hope they do well.

Sorry about my handwriting. Here’s Noshili and Atane meeting each other.

Anyway, I’m trying to find a convenient style for making comics. I get tired easily and when I plan stuff, I have to do it immediately or there’s a chance I won’t get to it after a while. So! I’m trying to simplify. The easier part is that it’s easy to make silhouettes and shapes with my characters, the difficult part is abstracting them and capturing their age.

A lot of my characters vaguely have very similar features and the things I’m taking away from them to abstract them are their defining features. For example, Noshili, and two characters Neloni and Nadoni. They have different lips but their eyes are exactly the same as they’re all related. They all have different postures and stances and different skin colors and hair but it would be very hard to capture that without seeing their whole face. I know it’s not gonna be that big of a deal, but I don’t want to get made fun of for same face syndrome!

As for other qualities, eh. I think they’ll be fine. I just have to work on gestures and showing emotions.

It’s not on watercolor paper but I am not a purist so I don’t care.

I’ve also been testing acrylics (not even appropriate ones—oops!) to try out with watercolors and they’re honestly the best. The thing is, they add a texture to the watercolors but when they’re thinned down and don’t have that nasty plastic flavor to it, they actually are able to have watercolors be painted on top. They aren’t resoluble though so while they can be lifted while wet, they’re not going to rewet and you can’t lift afterwards. It kinda solves my glazing problem to an extent. I want to do watercolor portraits that have vague qualities to old master paintings or have that energy but nothing is similar to it. These help a lot. I’ve also found a deep love for ultramarine. My heart and soul go to ultramarine (for now) and I love how it looks. If you know me, I used to hate royal blue and colors that look like it (not to anything that has to do with sports teams or anything, just hated it) but watercolors made me love it.

There are some colors that are perfect for being the main focus in paintings and that’s ultramarine blue and violet right now for some. As of now, I try to do focal points with colors that are important to each character. For example, Noje is a big fan of yellow so if I had her on a painting, that would be her focal point, but if I had Feyondo on there, his focal point would be blue.

The reason why I don’t elaborate sometimes on colors because they change and typically when it comes to some characters and their “soulmates” they always have complementary colors on the additive spectrum. However, with paints, that’s not additive and is more subtractive so these can change. I do not have an exact color for them, just a color family. It has something to do with their dreamstate/micosi /mɨ.kɔ.si/.

I am so excited to share more with y’all about more stuff!☺️ As well, my wattpad account is on my homepage. 🙂

Another study to see how much I can simplify. It was kinda difficult drawing these characters fast as possible but it wasn’t difficult to get their energy and movements as well as line qualities. The actual look is a little 😬. As well, this is Noshili and Atane again.
Categories
artwork

Very Late “New Years” Goals

So, I hope to do a monthly check on this, but for this year, I have goals. Small goals.

  • 1. Make a blogger with art stuff on it
  • 2. Start cleaning my computer and phone to prepare for videos
  • 3. Start developing sketches for sketchbook tours
  • 4. Draw more (this one is literally vague on purpose as it’s more of a vibe and not a particular goal. I want to feel like I draw more) and try to be more on theme with the story or try to start a comic or do some pages of sequential art.
  • 5. Update this account more often. (And I mean having at least 52 posts)
  • 6. Find an audience on here.
  • 7. Write and finish my Wattpad story. (😭) I write updates and not writing and editing.
  • 8. I forgot what I was putting here.😂
Here’s some paintings I’ve done recently using two mediums using watercolor and acrylic—two water-based mediums. The one picture in the bottom is a Leonardo da Vinci sketch that I painted over. (Clearly I redrew it bc it’s not as good as the OG.)
A sketch by Leonardo da Vinci that I used. I don’t know what it’s named but it’s easy to find online.
All unfinished with inconsistencies and various levels of laziness. The one on the top was trying to use the same palette to draw two characters without trying to perfect it. It is Feyondo and Noje. The one on the bottom was supposed to a self portrait of Noshili’s partner Atane but he included Noshili who is looking into the camera and slightly frowning and staring. I doubt I’d finish it because I didn’t draw Noshili well in it. Atane looks slightly bigger because I have to make up for his huge eyes (he is a Najigi), I do not like the gestures of Atane either and probably will restart! 😊
Categories
artwork Character building, but not anything specific OC Building and Practices The Framework Characters of Qoot!

Feyondo

Some characters are more difficult to explain and require a lot more effort to make a post on.

Feyondo is one of the main characters of the storyline I’ve been writing about at the moment. I will try to have new formatting for this character to make it easy to read.

I didn’t want to post him anytime soon because he’s ridiculously hard to draw consistently, but I’m posting it because he’s the second character I created over five years ago when I made this storyline.

If you know me for long enough, my aesthetic gears to more feminine looking people and this includes men. He’s supposed to be very hippy and fat (I didn’t show it because I was too busy worried about his silhouette and trying to make it masculine as possible) but it’s not depicted well here because I was too worried about other things. It is extremely hard for me have characters like him because I know what he looks like vs how I want to draw him. I know cis men (usually) aren’t shaped like this, but this character is shaped like this and it’s his ethological body shape and if he looks like a woman, dang, but 🤷🏾 he has this body and it’s a bit dumpy but it is what it is.

Feyondo /fe.jən.d̪ɔ/ (This is pronounced like Feh-yun-dou, the ou as though) is a tall, light skinned man with features that are mildly ambiguous to both ethnic groups he’s apart of—the original Nini groups and Bamy culture. He is considered biracial because the Bamy people do not consider themselves to be the same race as the indigenous groups there. He is, however, two types of Adish and a Ini.

Iterations of his name are typically Ondo, but some characters call him Fey—like his wife Noje. His legal name is Zhan /ɮɑ̃/. I have yet to develop the translation of his last name, so he has no last name as of now!

In relation to himself and his family

“Backstory”

Feyondo was born from a teen mom named Magbagi /mʊ.ɡ͜bɒ.ɡɨ/ with very risky behaviors that aren’t well thought through and he wonders what goes through her head. These traits go to him, but in different ways.

Feyondo’s mom ran away her house out of frustration and discomfort and had a trip to Haden and had a one night stand with a man named Hadorinal /ħa.ðɔ.ɾi.nɑl/ and after she came back, she had Feyondo. She does not like her child because he is a burden to her and isn’t a citizen like her. (It’s a convoluted relationship, she doesn’t hate him, she feels guilty about her choices).

The thing with racial politics in the area is that if a person’s paternal grandparent isn’t a “citizen” of Bamygdala, then they aren’t a citizen there. (Of course, other groups are different) Magbabi hated that Zhan wasn’t a citizen after he turned a particular age was upset but just neglected him and would abandon him at times for men or hanging out with friends or just push him into a room with toys and brought people over.

Around the age of five, one of Magbabi’s boyfriends convinced her to adopt a child that he found and she did it to improve their relationship. Their relationship didn’t last after that and Adelewe, her new child, belonged to her legally and was liable for them.

Frequently, Magbabi abandoned her kids at the main religious area (I have listed in my stories as congregation, but it’s just an equivalent of a church, mosque, or a synagogue) instead of having them at home and getting in her way when she’s looking for guys or hanging with her friends but after a year, children weren’t allowed to just sit in there for long hours (without a parent or guardian) after a scandal happened.

When Zhan was still five (but later into five), Magbabi found a boyfriend at the park when she was taking her kids out to the park and saw that he looked like he needed some help and he was dirty but seemed nice and let him in to her life. After that, she let that guy move in which he’d abuse Feyondo and Adelewe in all means possible when he’d have a break down or would get angry with them for existing—this kind of made Zhan despise Magbabi for having him and putting him through that.

Further trigger warning ahead: sexual assault and violence

Categories
about me artwork Rants and Rambles

WordPress is getting on my nerves

I’m sorry if it seems like I’m replying late or accidentally ignored your comments. I literally cannot see some of them unless I look for them because they get buried deep in the comments thing and I don’t get a notification. 😞

It actually made me frustrated because I didn’t want this to be my New Years post, but it is what it is!

Here’s some swatches I’ve been working on. Ultramarine Blue (PB29) is such a basic color but it’s so meaningful to me. The granulation is always so breathtaking on it. It’s a shame that Phthalo green is mildly toxic and has copper because it’s so cute. PG7 and PG36 are so beautiful to me because of their vibrancy and saturation. The saturation always makes my heart melt but I agree with others…they’re TERRIBLE to mull and they’re like grape juice on a carpet when it comes to staining.

Okay, since this is random, I’m just going to ramble and gush.

So, recently I tried Rose Madder (NR9) and fell in love with it. I tend to make notebook art and sketchbook art so it doesn’t stress me out, but that is one beautiful color! I want to try Michael Harding’s watercolor version instead of Winsor and Newton, but I don’t have Michael Harding money so I’ll probably just try Etsy in the future. Alizarin Crimson PR83, isn’t the same to me though I like it.

I’ve also gotten into desaturated colors like PG23 (Green Earth) and PG17 (Chrome Green Oxide). My heart goes out to both of them because they can be very similar but PG23 is low tinting, weak, and transparent and PG17 is the opposite! I just really like looking at those colors. I don’t know how either could just sit in my palette, but they are and I will find a way to include them.

I really like PV15 (Ultramarine Violet) and PV16 (Manganese Violet) . Since I just started getting into diverse color shades, I have been trying to find different colors and those stuck out to me. They are some of my favorite colors because I love purple, and I love granulating colors and they are extreme granulating colors. PV62 from Schminke is granulating and Violet, but it’s more of a huge let down because it’s hard to rewet and kind of just doesn’t look good by itself. I hate to buy convenience colors, but in the future, I will ONLY use PV62 in convenience mixtures. I think that I’m going to be looking for something that looks similar to PV15 and PV16 that isn’t granulating. I think PR88 (Thioindigo Violet) is okay. (I want to show y’all the color, but I don’t understand how I got this paint because it’s extinct and nearly impossible to buy…I honestly am shocked but amused.) If anyone has any suggestions that aren’t PV19 or PR122, I’ll give it a listen.

Colors that I always will like no matter what are PR259, PR179 (Perylene Maroon🤤😮‍💨), and PR101 (Red Iron Oxide). PR259, or Ultramarine Pink is a pretty, desaturated pink color. Bright compared to other colors but earthy. PR259 is so similar to PR233 but is higher tinting and doesn’t look serious.

So, here’s a color wheel I painted when making a palette. Counterclockwise is PR259 (Ultramarine Pink), PR108 (Cadmium Red Light), PO67 (Pyrazoloquinazolone Orange), PY35 (Cadmium Yellow Deep), PY129 (Green Gold), PG26 (Cobalt Green Deep), PB32 (Smalt?), PV14 (cobalt violet) PV16 (Manganese Violet), PV15 (Ultramarine Violet), and PV29 (Perylene Violet).

I’ll see y’all later.

Categories
artwork

Art, WIPs, and progress.

Trust the process. Showing progress pictures of the character Nejame and his jet-black skin.
Designing wedding and everyday coats for Adelewe. The left outfit is for Bamy culture and the other is their conversion religion Ne. The outfit is a wedding outfit for their gender.
A swimming outfit design for Adelewe (for Bamy culture!)

I hope everyone has a Happy New Year!🎈🎊🎆 ☺️

Categories
artwork Rants and Rambles

Study rant

Imitation is the highest form of flattery.

Mimesis of the artists either means you’re immortal or your livelihood is stolen.
in the Renaissance, a human God.
A master worthy of being worshipped as if he was more than,
A hero.

it doesn’t seem like some people care,
to wonder what makes art of the master’s beautiful.
Or even what makes it good to them.

Mimesis.
Your stuff is worth remixing,
Worth putting in an allegorical concepts…
Worth remixing and rematching.

Others don’t matter unless they have that.

Could anyone be a master?
Or was this destined by a god, deity, evil religious figure.
Why do people make Biblicalesque stories and documentaries
And people willingly watch them,
Feeling some kind of connection.

Why do masters feel fake?
As they never existed…
How can someone deny a god, but worship the essence of a man they don’t know and never will know
and imply a person into them?
Am I simply r———,
Or did I miss out on something else?

That I’m to study these artists,
That there’s an objective truth.
That I’m supposed to like these artists no questions asked.
That their skills, talents, and whatevers are actual objective truths,
instead of opinions from those who hold my soul and other’s souls captive.

I question myself…
Why do I care?
Imitation is the highest form of flattery.
I like posting my art on here because I don’t have to source. Completely irrelevant to the post, but it’s fine. I don’t care.
Categories
about me artwork Rants and Rambles

Learn the rules so you can break them!

I don’t want to go back.

but is it possible to go back
to the old things,
not the good things,
the bad?

and reimagine them
as the good they once were,
the happiness it gave,
the sadness it sheltered.

the bad art that was made…
can I clear my mind to remember what it once was?
it is reasonable to think it is bad because I was told to do better and it moved my heart, causing it to writhe…my eyes glew up with the idea this person wants to help me,
they know the bad,
they can help me.

But did they?
I can’t seem to draw a picture without hearing critiques, never bad, just mindfulness, but never enjoying the task anymore and wanting this perfection.

A teacher cannot teach me perfection,
it doesn’t exist.
Yet, it does. It exists as much as race, religion, government, gender, sex, control.
It has to exist…but I don’t like it.
My liking doesn’t matter,
there are important things.

I don’t exist as an individual, I never have.
everything but.

I am a product,
A statistic,
A follower,
A mistake, an Idiot.

Never something as my own.

My opinions only ruin people’s days, but rarely change them.
I have no influence.
I could disappear,
and the only thing that would be sad is that I’m dead or hurt,
but it doesn’t matter.
cry about the issue and not the person.

And when someone becomes my product,
my statistic, my follower, another mistake, and another idiot under me…

well, I’ll still be nothing.
Old art from three-four years ago. It feels like looking at a completely different person referencing a different thing and the only reason why it’s terrible because it isn’t abstract enough, realistic enough, finished enough, or enough in general.
Categories
artwork Rants and Rambles

Dreams

I wonder when I dream about someone
if that someone sees me in their dream,
what’s the point of doing all that dreaming,
if it leads to me thinking and remembering
those I vowed to forget in my reality.

I question my mind.
it is a privilege to remember,
but when I want to forget,
it all comes back nicely wrapped in a dream.

Never important things,
homework,
medication,
basic self care…

Just faces, 
bodies, 
of people who never seem to care about me or remember me.

I just find that upsetting.

It would make sense to leave a writer’s/author’s note. I’ve been looking at some people’s accounts and they do it, but I didn’t know if it was worth it. Is it worth it?

I know it doesn’t look like Lisa Gherardini («Monna Lisa») but it’s her in profile with some interesting clothes on drawn for something else entirely
I cut open some watercolors so I wouldn’t waste them. It was annoyingly messy but here is the result. Color harmony is cool, I guess.
Here’s some sketches/watercolor doodles
Categories
artwork Rants and Rambles

Exhausted

I hate to abandon my account because I’m psychologically exhausted, but I’m exhausted. It’s very tiring to read on here and respond but also post and when I don’t post, I feel guilty about not being successful.

Colored sketch to help me learn how to color figures with limited palettes

I hate how on social media you just get ignored easily if you don’t post anything but if you do you still get ignored. I don’t want to be on social media all day, I want to be successful in general…but I’m not cut out for it at this moment. It’s just tiring and I get even more tired or try to focus on things that are easier and make me happy but dang.😐 There’s not much.

Categories
artwork Stories

O You

This content may be triggering to people with dead loved ones or issues with reality. Please take care of yourself and avoid this post. I don’t mind you avoiding this.

Here’s a sketch by me. I was trying out braids. 🙂

Here’s a picture if you want to see one. Have a nice one.👁️👁️

Categories
artwork Character building, but not anything specific OC Building and Practices

Small story

Before
After
A redrawing of a character I made at 16 or 17.
Oh, it looks like everyone is standing there around us…um. I had a great time at concert! I can’t believe you took me out to see my favorite artist! Wow! You must love me, huh. Thank you. Um. Well.

*singing*

🎶there once was no noise...
or I heard no noise...
it’s hard to say,
but anyway
I need your love.
There once was day,
I hid far away,
'Cause there was a crazy world out there,
and I was scared.

I need your love…
I need your love!
If there’s a crazy world out there,
I’ll be here! 🎶

This character was scrapped after a while, not because I didn’t love her. I really loved her character, but all her music doesn’t exist anymore except in a small file on my Google Drive from 2017. 🙄 I didn’t even finish the lyrics, but these are the only lyrics I remember.

The deeper voice on the second verse originally was supposed to be the male character singing it, but I scrapped that idea but since my computer crashed that fateful day, this is the only thing I have.
Categories
artwork Character building, but not anything specific

It’s my duty to post on November 30th!

Hey, y’all! I’ve drawn more characters (that I already have) and will be posting them in their respective areas soon.

As for now, I have been busy with school work and other issues.

Here are some doodles of characters! I’m practicing on writing a story so I tried designing my favorite parts of people—their faces.

Anyway, once break starts officially for me, I will be drawing more (hopefully 🤞) Have a nice one!