An attempt is made

I’ve been trying to learn Spanish for the past five years and my skills have greatly suffered due to lack of speaking and lack of writing. I made a side blog for it, but it’s hard to jump into things like that and find content. There are things I can write and I can use a dictionary, but I do not have the confidence to know I’m using correct words. I hate getting things wrong—which is stupid because why hinder progress because you’re afraid of failure?😂

I keep packing on other languages but don’t do anything to keep up with it.

I will write a small poem (or more) on here, it should be my only poem (s) on here not in English, as I would prefer this blog to not be in anything but my first language.

En español

Aprendiendo es difícil

Es difícil pensar de nuevas maneras,

Cuando las palabras son desconocidos,

Cuando las palabras no hace venir,

Como lo harían con unos hablantes nativos. 



Siento un dolor en mi estómago 

Cuando no puedo pensar en una idioma,

Mi idioma yo practiqué durante años 

Siento que un idiota.





Soy un principiante…o solo intermedio.

Ojalá hubiera aprendido de niño.

No puedo expresarme.

No puedo pensar en mi lengua de destino.



Quiero aprender,

Deseo hablar con el corazón.

Quiero entender,

Me estoy perdiendo la comprensión.



Deseo decir lo que pienso. 

Me estoy perdiendo historias…

Quiero escribir historias intenso.

Quiero mis historias ser glorias.

What I want to say:

It’s difficult to talk in a new way
When words are unknown
when the words don’t come as they would with a native speaker.

I feel an ache in my stomach 
when I don’t understand a language I practiced for years.
I feel dumb.

I am a beginner or maybe intermediate,
I wish I learned as a kid.
I can’t express myself.
I can’t think in my target language!

I want to learn.
I wish to speak with my heart,
I want to understand,
I’m missing out on comprehending things.

I wish I could say what I think
I’m missing out on stories.
I want to write intense stories that are glorious.

En français

Je suis limité à quelques mots,

Quand je veux te parler.

Je parle par fragments 

D’un dictionnaire.

D’un traducteur.



Je suis un menteur 

Si nous avons parlé 

Je ne comprendrais pas un mot !

Je suis un imposteur.



Pourquoi ?



Je parle avec un traducteur,

Je parle avec un dictionnaire.

Je ne peux pas penser en français,

Je ne peux pas parler en français.



J’ai besoin d'apprendre.

Je veux te parler.

Je veux mon français soit…français,

Je veux partager mes pensées comme un humain.



Un jour…

Translation (more like what I want to say)

My words have a limit
When I want to talk to you,
I can only speak in fragments
from dictionaries and translators.

I’m a liar,
if we spoke, I wouldn’t understand a word…
I’m a fraud.

how so?

I can communicate only with a translator,
with only a dictionary,
I cannot think in French,
My words don’t process in French because I don’t know French.

I need to learn,
I want to speak with you.
I want my French to be translated with French in mind instead of English and Spanish,
I want to verbalize my humanity!

Maybe one day…

There’s a link in my homepage with a just as weird titled blog where I write random stuff (and want to write random stuff) in—typically—Spanish. I haven’t posted much into it because writing in different languages make me exhausted. Maybe one day my skills will improve and I can write in other languages like Italian, Portuguese, and Hindi—and also write like myself in my other languages previously mentioned. Maybe someday. Maybe someday I’ll have a conlang to write in. (😭 I don’t understand how some people can make those so fast…)

Anywho, please take care and stay hydrated and healthy.