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When?

Sketches that were failed drawings and a storyline.

When? 
“When” is the question,
that many ask when asking for the next best thing
or the end of the worst.

I ask,
When will I be able to draw bodies correctly?
When will I have the courage to attempt bodies,
instead of sitting with my book drawing busts?
When will this fear be over?!
When will I practice anatomy?
When will I complete my conlangs?
When will I put a story together?

These are only in my control.
I control when.

Drawing is not enough. Practicing other things are great, but they’re tiring or embarrassing…extremely embarrassing. It is extremely hard to post content that looks bad as it is extremely hard to take time on a picture that looks like absolute trash. By no means am I trying to achieve perfection, I’m trying to achieve completion or at least do something well enough that I don’t see immediate mistakes when I do it or it doesn’t make me stop too early.

I’ll show you some stuff that has me like that.

S is playing a Jinhi hunter and Damijo is playing the “evil” Jinhi. It’s somewhat early in Damijo’s acting career and he’s a horrible but cute acting character (he can act, he just doesn’t really fit in with the vibe and was placed there for nefarious reasons not of his own doing). Anyway, of the two scenes, a scene before makes S feel really bad for Damijo to the point that instead of drawing his sword (that I poorly drew), he drops it and walks to the Jinhi (again, played by Damijo) and nuzzles him.

S has a reputation of being sarcastic, brave, heroic, and insensitive (because it’s their culture to mimic soullessness or basically lack emotions because emotions are bad to them). Meanwhile, Damijo’s reputation is the opposite. He’s very sensitive, ditzy, silly, and humorous because he looks stupid to people and has a strange sounding voice. S basically feels bad for the in story character and also for Damijo and cracks into his inner suppressed self, Solisi.

S was born in the same small community— Sholi—as Damijo, but instead of being a Jinhi like Damijo, he is a Sol Solio. He, however, had a very different life then Damijo and was raised moderate poverty and lacked a citizenship to Bamygdala. He was scouted out by these people looking for an actor. He fit the idea when he acted, but his appearance and his demeanor was unfit. He is naturally timid, anxious, shy, and very emotional and will cry easily. They worked on him with that, but they also gave S plastic surgery to look more of the idea for Northern Bamy people, they were trying to push and made him bleach his skin and hair.

As sensitive as he is, it gave him an identity crisis and made him slightly dissociate. He sees himself as Solisi as his own, but S wants to take over his body and fight him. S is almost always referred to as the Almighty S, and even Solisi will call him that. Solisi refers to himself as himself and refers to S as someone else even though they share the same body and think similarly but differently. Solisi is very traumatized of all the chaos in his life and that’s one of the many ways he handles it (until he gets therapy).

Anyway, Solisi comes out of S in this scene and decides to not to harm the Jinhi. The director thought it was okay because it promoted a message he wanted. (That it was socially okay for citizens to buy a spouse that’s from one of the indigenous groups nearby.) Though, S’s mindset of doing that wasn’t out of romance. It was more out of frustration.

This one is the older version of the nuzzle. There’s nothing that bad about it but Damijo’s face isn’t the way I want it and S looks too flat, but otherwise, I like the emotions of the older one more. Damijo looks adorable (to me).

Anyway, this was a lot to write. I was a bit hesitant to write it, because it could be spoilers…but you know…👉👈. This comic or even storyline is unlikely to take off at the rate I’m going so I thought it would be more worth my time to just say it and move on and show you my oh so lovely art. (Not sarcasm, I do actually think my art is lovely.)🤷🏾It was nice talking to you. Have a nice day or night and make sure to stay hydrated.☺️

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By Feets

I don’t like feet; I’m just trying to be funny and that’s a word I think about a lot.

This is a blog about assorted topics I’m interested in. I will write about different things. I love worldbuilding and I like researching. :)

They/them/he/him

15 replies on “When?”

There’s always something new to learn with any art. I guess it takes a lot of practice to become a master. I think that your drawings are great and that you could even start your comic now. The skills are definitely there. Have you read Gunnerkrigg Court? His illustrations were simple in the beginning, but got more and more complex with time.

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Thank you! I just don’t know the format of how I should do it. However, I’ll check that out! That sounds interesting.😮 I probably would go a bit simpler because I do not have art stamina.😂

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Wow! You keep getting better and better. I love being able to see your process and see how you work through figuring out everything about your characters. It’s such a complex and truly beautiful thing to witness. I really hope I get to read your comic (or will it be a graphic novel) someday. It’s really incredible.

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I believe it’d be a graphic novel. I’m just struggling with what I’m going to do to start the plot and serializing as well as what I’m going to put the graphic novel at and the format. Otherwise, it’s just that.

And thank you. I love writing about my progress so much. It’s one of the things I enjoy. It’s nice to know that you and others care. It means a lot.😢

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I left a comment here that probably got eaten away because my app keeps crashing. Anyhow I just wanted you to know that I enjoy your art and your writing. And I have a friend on WP who I know irl who approaches blogging a lot like you do. He’s on this journey with drawing and characters too. I hope you don’t mind me sharing a link here, but I feel you’ll like each other’s blogs https://slipstreamswimming.wordpress.com

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It would be a lot less chaotic if it didn’t take off.😅 I’m bossy and I do not like criticism on things that take me time to do.

However, it would take a lot to stop doing things I enjoy and love. I spend so much time on this, it’s like my entertainment. I’m not the best reader and I’ve unintentionally cut down a lot of my tv watching so this is mostly what I do other than online people watching, in person people watching, researching random crap and implementing things. I’m basically writing these stories for my entertainment but I also want others who can enjoy them to enjoy them.

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It’s all so complex, I marvel that you have created these characters, their histories, cultures, personalities and stories. As far as the figure drawing, you can feel free to give them the anatomy that you think is right.
And I think it was brave of you to show the sketches you struggled with. I threw away a painting of a fox this week instead of blogging about it. I feel guilty about that.

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I wanted to get rid of that picture with S and Damijo so bad, but it’s whatever. I know everyone messes up with something and I wanted to cope with it by posting.

However, don’t feel guilty. I once threw away a homework assignment that I struggled with instead of pushing through (and failed the assignment 😂). I throw away art all the time. It’s fine not to be too attached to it or sometimes it’ll make you feel reaaally bad. Don’t feel bad about it at all.

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OH MY GOSH THIS IS ACTUALLY SUCH A BEAUTIFUL POST AND THE DRAWINGS?? ARE STUNNING?? i love them. so much. IM ALSO FOREVER IN AWE OF ALL YOUR UNIQUE STORY IDEAS AND WILL CHEER YOU ON UNTIL YOU FINISH IT BECAUSE I CANNOT WAIT OKAY!!!!! good luck YOURE THE BEST

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Thank you so much.😢 I appreciate your comment and you cheering me on. It is a lot to do, but it’s nice knowing there’s people out there that care. Thank you, truly.

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