about me Rants and Rambles

Striving for perfection doesn’t help everyone

If striving to perfection helps you that’s fine, but it doesn’t help everyone.

I feel like I’m a very permeable person—every single little comment could offend me, burn me out, affect me in the worst ways. I understand that you’re not supposed to show your weaknesses or say them or be transparent about it because people will hurt you but it’s exhausting being permeable because I don’t know if I’m going to break or I’m just going to get wounded from something and won’t grow.

I’m also a perfectionist that won’t do something if it’s not perfect and will sabotage their grades and embarrass themselves over failure. Some types of compliments like good, cute, alright, and nice will make me upset or even aggressive when it’s just a sweet compliment. Bad critique is true, good critique is false, compliments are lies. It’s terrible here!

(I’m ONLY speaking for myself, but if these apply to you, great!)

I don’t like how that is, but somewhat it’s my nature and I have to work around it. One way is to stop striving for perfection. It’s completely unnecessary and stupid, also means reevaluating goals. A lot of my goals are a reflection of outside people’s ideas of success, worthiness, authority, and the perfect way to live and not only can I not live that way, but it’s actively hurting me. I feel like I’m getting dragged against concrete and scuffing my legs and refusing to stop.

This isn’t even taking the road less traveled, this is straight up figuring out what I actually want to do and developing the confidence to do that sort of thing. It’s exhausting hearing all these voices talking as if they know me and they’re not even nice about it either.

Some days I just want to quit art. It seems like it’s my “talent,” but it’s not. There’s nothing that I’m just good at and even if I was, people likely don’t want see it. I am not in the mood to sell my art, I shouldn’t be putting anything out for attention, and I should focus on my own control.

Anyone else a perfectionist or know anyone like that?

I’ve shared to y’all art that goes in the not what I want but okay area and I’m showing them here.

I know artists and bloggers say to only show your best side and only show your good art, but these are good art, just not completing the goal in my head or lack the line quality, distinguishable features, or essence of my character.


3 replies on “Striving for perfection doesn’t help everyone”

I would be a perfectionist if I were good at anything or had some innate talent waiting to burst out. Mostly I hate everything I do because it never expresses exactly what I wanted to say or show. Everything at best is a grand “almost good,” and at worst is a dreadful failure. I think when I think something I’ve done is good, it’s just a temporary delusion brought on by well-meaning compliments (or humoring me out of politeness). However, I know the truth about at least two kinds of errors. One is failure to express my complete inner thought or plan to the outside observers. The other is a failure of technical proficiency in the use of symbols, denotations, connotations, or metaphorical objects or drawings etc. As the expression goes, “Nobody sees the elephant in the room.” The elephant is my technical incompetence, but I can’t even draw the elephant. Oh, I suppose, a third error is continuing to work on things that are just invalid or false without any redeeming characteristics. Sometimes “just keep trying” is very bad advice if I’m doing something that is actually in reality completely impossible.

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